I secretly sat at your secluded spot on the lake
I languidly listened and watched the Sunset
writing this while I cease to worry
because I was wrong.

They were wrong when they pigeonholed
you in black and white as one toned ordinary
when you're really vivid shades of hazel
More than meets the eye & captivating
as many shades as in the Sunset
I've been watching from your spot.
Colour me interested because I want to see what hue we'd make mixed together
Yours would compliment and supplement mine
into a vibrant tone
brilliant enough to paint  a whole canvas
with the full spectrum of our shades in our union.

These winter months are barren
with grief and nostalgic memories

As snow consumes the streets,
you consume my mind
Filling it up
and making me fall

The trees are naked and vulnerable
like you made me feel

We were a house without a roof,
a soldier without a shield

I should stay away from your poison
but the thought of you calls me back

Envy is a glass window
it shows you places you want to go
but you can't
and you get angered at everyone out distant
You see them as strong as an ant
while you're a just coccoon,
of envy staring out at the moon
hoping you can get out soon
and it makes you sad
that everything outside is good, but inside is bad
hoping this is just a fad
if you have to, the window you'll break
because your happiness is at stake
and your smiles are fake
want want want
it all feels like a taunt
because you can't move through glass

Love, is an inferno
except you like the pain though
and it leaves you out of breath saying woah
It leaves scars
It's not my scar and it's not yours, it's ours
you can't trap it in jars
It burns bright
leaving you blind without sight
but you feel alright
in the middle of the fiery chaos
a beautiful flower grows like moss
and you hope you never have to face the loss
of the flower dying
or your skin frying
or the knot untying
love, is an inferno

Can I have a cheatsheet to your heart?
So I could put it in my shopping cart
too bad it's out of stock
and under key & lock
and a password
for me to figure out on my own accord
But I'm ready to try my last combination
It's like I'm in stopmotion
the way these tears fall slow
as you watch and just say "oh
figure it out on your own
because nothing is etched in stone
everything's scrawled in sand
and in high demand
that's why you can't have this *****
I can't let it be tore again
what about you?"
Well mine's still broke and I thought you had the glue
to put it back together
and make it stronger than ever
well if you do have it, you won't give it away
so why do I even stay?
compulsion?
I need you like insulin

**** being an example, I'd rather be a warning
Because while you're bored in Heaven I'll be in Hell burning
While you're growing up I'm just a punk forming
so I can join in on the rioting and storming
**** the government
and tell them they can get bent
just because I'm not Heavensent
and I don't believe
don't pray for me or grieve
because I'm not just an average steve
or Adam
Christians are just members of a huge fandom
God didn't do ****, everything is random
For respect I won't ask, but I'll demand them
give it to me
and let me free
unlike you
but I can be a decent human being too
I'm not a sheep or fat cow so I won't baa or moo

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Maybe the reason I'm afraid to go back
Is not because I'm worried things will be different,
But that things will be exactly the ******* same.


                                                         ­                                                                (w.n.)