No, it's really alright.
It's alright. I'm okay!
I stumble in my shoes as my heart falls out of place.
Are you awake? Wake up! Can you hear me?
I can tell you dead-on that you're here and I'm there,
I can tell you that just fine,
I just can't wash my hair. Or sit in warm-ish water for more than 4 minutes, or carry my breath while feeling safe in it.
How can I feel better like you're urging me to?
I will feel better, I swear, and as a matter of fact, I think I already do!
It will leave me alone; it will never happen again...
it will read every report and study my own eyes have read.
Then come back with a venegance,
with some sort of vendetta, a foe --
and make me unthink all the things I think I already know.
So ***** the dinner table, Mom's house, New Year's Eve,
***** looking tearfully at my parents, telling them that I need to leave.
***** the medications, MRIs, and echocardiograms
and ***** every time the symptoms performed these tests with empty hands.
EKG's normal! You're alright, and so's your blood pressure,
so get out the hospital, get some rest, and be reminded to always remain less & less sure.
Exercise, eat healthy, get plenty of sleep..
but don't mind being dizzy more than 5 days a week.
Because you're just fine! You're good! Just keep your mind in it.
I sure will, thanks a bunch! And be sure to tell the same to your kid,
because that's all I am, a child at heart.
Whose heart can't tell time, so when I stopped growing, it'd start.
I thought I was safe when I reached twenty one,
deadlifted 210, drove for a bit, couldn't see what was in front.
I don't need to be rescued,
I don't need you to care,
just don't get offended if you look over and I'm not there
dazed and confused, heart at an abnormal pace
stumbling, shuffling,
as it falls back out of place.

I know. It can be scary to feel.
You either feel too much or nothing at all.
Or even worse, you feel you've hit the bottom
so many times you stop being afraid of the fall. Maybe you're already there,
and you decide to take a look around.
You start to feel safe.
Because you fear you'll be judged
if you are ever found.
Judged for falling when people thought
they were picking you up.
Judged for staying at the bottom just because you were "stuck in a rut."
And these fears are valid.
These fears may come true.
But these judgements will come
from people who love you.
I know it might not be clear
what I'm trying to say, so here it is:
it's okay to be afraid.
But if no one knows there's a problem,
they'll never be able to help show you the way.

People need people.
Animals need animals.
But sometimes, we need each other.
And that's Okay.
Because no matter how independent you are,
Someday, we're all going to need
somebody to lean on.

You taught me I wanted to live
when I thought I wanted to die.
In my heart, I always knew,
but you reassured me it's okay to cry.
So that's why even though we live in a world that's drowning in fear,
it's a world I'm proud to live in.
Because you live here too.

If you feel like
you've been going through hell,
if you feel you've thrown
all your coins
into the bottom of the wishing well,
if you feel like
you want to scream and yell,
I want you to know
it's okay to let yourself break.
Because there's only so much
people can take.
And when you make a mistake,
just know it will be okay.
Because tomorrow's another day.

I want you to know something.
It's okay to ask for help.
It's not embarrassing; it's brave
To admit you don't know something
And want to change.
I ask that you don't worry
That people will think less of you
If you do. You're trying to learn.
And that's something you should
Never apologize for

flowers
many times they go through
stormy weather
long, cold days and nights
before they can truly take root,
before they begin to grow and bloom.
they start off merely a seed
in the soil inches from the surface,
with water and light
they begin to become
everything they were meant to be.

if flowers can bloom even after the harshest winters
maybe you can too.

- growth is a process