I think about you every day still.
I think about holding your hand because that's my dream.
I promised I'd keep you on like the favorite sweater
I never get to wear, but you're coming off on your own.
I want you to fall in love with the way I do things only you notice
but you're not.
you're falling in love with her
because I opened you up.
I sometimes think she's closing you up.

I'll never be tired of waiting for you,
just tired of hurting over you.
you know I hurt,
but you don't care enough to run to me.
you don't care enough to ask to hold my hand.

I asked you to stop,
You didn't.
You continued,
Purposely hurting me each time.
I wish you'd stop.
I wish you'd stopped a long time ago.
Why don't I just leave?
I should've done.
That would've been the smart thing to do.
But I can't,
Because no matter how badly I'm hurt,
I still love you.

It's so easy for my friends to say that I should hate you.
The only reasons coming to their minds are
because you hurt me
because you lied
because you left

You've never hit me or beat me. But your words sure do have a right hook that has left more bruises than any hands could. The colors purple and blue have made a permanent home on my body. But no one ever saw them because they weren't visible to the naked eye. You knew they were there though, you knew and you kept hurting me

You said i love you like flipping on a light switch. It was something convenient for yourself and you knew how it turned me on. If only i had known you were lying.

I placed my heart in your hands thinking it was safe. But i what didn't know was that the reason they were so warm was because they were already a home to someone else. I didn't know. So i placed it neatly against your calloused palms and kissed it goodbye. It should have been safe with you. But i wasn't entirely worried until i saw you turn and run for the nearest exit. And i didn't break down until i saw who was waiting for you behind the door. You two took my heart like you'd struck gold; you never looked back.

They say i should hate you,
for hundreds of reasons.
But the twisted thing is, i've only ever come up with thousands explaining why i should still love you.

You know you're in love when,
even though they hurt you,
you still want them;
still love them,
and still wish that you could hold them.

Its been 5 months…..

& I know im still in love with you…

You still cross my mind everyday.

There is always something that reminds me of you, or something I wish we couldve done together.

Im sure you know i still care for you & still love you by the way I talk to you when you message me on Kik. We have cute conversations no matter how strange they be, there is still a connection between you & me.

I was asked by a friend:

“Do you think you’ll get back together?”

I told her I wasnt sure.

No for right now but YES for the future.

I told her I do have hope that one day in the future when we are a little older& wiser that if we bump into each other & still feel that connection we always had since the beginning…..then I hope that we get back together & give it another go :)

I cant give up on HOPE….so if it comes true in the future with you and I….then it would be a dream come true…. because I know that once I see you again, my heart will skip a beat & Ill know I still LOVE YOU…… ♡

The best memory I have of us is from April of 2014. We had just celebrated our 6 month anniversary a few days before and my birthday was less than a week away. I was extremely happy we had been together so long and so excited to be spending my birthday with you. Everything was perfect, and we were so happy. Our hands were locked within eachothers as we walked to our usual spot after school where we then waited for my mom to pick us up. You threw your backpack against the wall as I gently placed mine next to yours. I was so focused on my phone and was scrolling through my Facebook feed. That's when you came up from behind me and wrapped your arms around my waist. You began to attack my cheeks with your kisses. While I was laughing you leaned in for a kiss. My heart melted like butter inside. I put my phone away and put my arms around your neck as I looked into your eyes. Then we layed down and you held me in your arms. You were so slsepy and even though your eyes were closed and you couldn't see me, I couldn't close my eyes because they were set on you. I was studying every feature on your face. Your chin dimple that you hated, I had found so adorable. Your rosy lips I looked forward to kissing every single day. Your messy hair that I loved to run my fingers through. Your soft skin that you always loved to moisturize with lotion. You were this beautiful creation of God that I was blessed to call mine. I couldn't spot a single flaw and every detail of your face I remember so ******* well. It was that moment that I realized how much you meant to me. You were my whole world. In your arms, the way we were, it felt so right. That was how I wanted to sleep every single night with you in our future once we got married. I was so convinced back then, at age 14, that we were going to get married and start a family. Afterall, you were all I needed. Then suddenly you opened your eyes and saw me smiling at you. You began laughing. You said, "what are you looking at?" Holding back my tears of happiness I replied, "my other half. The person I want to spend the rest of my life with." Then we both looked into each others eyes and I gently placed my hand on your cheek as I continued to admire your face. Looking at you that very moment I felt so many different things, all at once. I felt complete in every single way, my heart was beyond satisfied whenever I was with you. Looking at you at that very moment I realized how much I was willing to sacrifice so I could just be with you. While I was still in the middle of my thoughts, you kissed me. "I love you so ******* much baby girl and I'm never letting go," you said to me. You pulled my body close to yours and began to cuddle me. "Babe...", I said. "Yes princess?" It took me a while to think of how I wanted to say what I was thinking, so then I just came out and said what was on my mind. "Do you promise me you'll never leave me?" You looked at me with that beautiful face of yours and said, "I couldn't ever leave you, even if I wanted to. You're everything I've always wanted and I love you more than you'll ever know."


And that was the most beautiful lie you ever said to me.

It is the morning drag
Another day alive
"I wish i was dead."

Puffing on a cigarette
staring blankly at the wisps of smoke
I wonder, "Where did I go wrong?"

Everything seemed perfect
Wrapped in his arms
Running around in our underwear

I would hold him against my skin
Never wanting to let go
Only wanting to feel his 5 o'clock shadow.

Days of laughter
Becomes weeks
Fights never lasted more than a day.

Everything seemed perfect
like a dream I've always wanted
My romantic comedy was real.  

Then the rose colored glasses broke.
I saw the black and white
You saw everything wrong with us.

I took the heart emoji off his contact name
Packed memories in boxes
He took the final decision: "It's over."

Everything seemed so perfect
Until reality decided to play
And all the perfect moments forgotten.