There's always a tipping point,
a space where you reside
when the balance is nearly equal,
but not quite.
You're on the edge of the blade,
and all it would take
was a whisper of a breeze
to tip the scale to one side.

There are so many things
that are constantly slipping
from my fingers.
As much as I reach
and lunge
and grab for them,
they always manage to escape me.

Even when I think things
are going well,
the slightest change
movement
of anything
can shake me to my core.

An earthquake
is ripping through my world
and I'm not sure if I can
hang on long enough
to make it.

There's an emptiness inside me
that hasn't ever been filled
and I have always ignored it
pushed it back
starved that wanting in me.

There are things that
I can't think about
truths about me and my life
that would utterly break me
if I looked too close.
I have to keep them sealed
keep those things
away.
They keep surfacing
keep bubbling up
trying to be seen.
Flinching will mean
acknowledging them
but their noise is nearly unbearable.

I needed you
to have more faith in me
to believe in me
more than I did.
I never thought I was good enough
never thought I was worthy
but I always tried.
I always tried my hardest
to be what I should
to do what you wanted.

It was never enough.
Nothing was enough.
Your disappointment
is cracking me apart
your judgement
and criticism
is breaking me.
I know the truth, and I can't help but wish
I had never learned it.
I always thought that honesty
was everything
but I almost would have rather
you lied.

I can't stand this.
Being around you
having to pretend that
I don't know.
That I'm fine.
I can't talk to you
I can't trust you
I can't do anything.

If I acknowledge this pain
will it take away my last shred of resolve?
Will it shatter me into a million pieces
incapable of being picked up
and put back together?
Will I learn and grow from the truth?

I'm not sure I'm willing to find out.

All on your back in life and death
Weight of the world on your bare back
Carrying a nuclear backpack for Cuban Soviet missiles
Darling lady riding your back in the dawn surf
Tiger clawing your back as you flee the jungle
Car engine weighing you down back style new parts
Bust your back bend your knees picking up your cat
Bergen on your back as you hike the Eigar North face
Weight of dead souls pushing you back down
Rugby playing popped your spine like piano keys
Take care of your back or its chair time

you gifted me rope
and I used to will it a necklace

So What Is The Position of The ... " Human Condition " ... ???

We Have Been Conditioned To Speak With No Vision ...
To Accept What Is FICTION As If It's OUR MISSION ...
To Live Life Behind ... The PAIN IN Our Minds ...
From Movies To LIES We Seem To ... *** - IDE ...
Our Wish To Be FREE To Embrace FALLACIES ... !?!

From Those On BIG SCREENS To Those In The Streets ...
Shooting CONVICTIONS Because of ... DERISION ...
Or Because of Wives ... Who Live WHORISH Lives ... !!!!!

Sleeping AROUND To Laugh With The Clowns ...
UNTIL Hubby Finds Out And LETS OFF Gun Sounds ... !!!

Humanity DROWNS As Loyalty FROWNS ...
Because of The Grounds On Which It Rests NOW ...

The Grounds of NEW FREEDOMS ...
DEFILED Due To ***** ...
That Rests In These Demons ...
Who Have Human Bodies ...
But Hearts SO UNGODLY ...
That HEAVENLY ACTS ...
The FATHER RETRACTS ... !!!

From Allah To Buddha ....
STILL Humans PULL Shooters ... !?!
Who CLAIM To Have Faith ...
In MORE THAN DEATH Games ... ?!?

As The BLOOD Drains ...
WHO FEEDS Our Young Brains ... ?
With Things That ... DISMANTLE ...

Visions of ... " DJANGO " ...

The Human Condition ...
Does NOT NEED ... " Pulp Fiction " ... !!!!!
But DOES NEED Some Shepherds ...
Whose Words DON'T PERVERT ... !!!!!

Some BAD Mother Uckers' ...
Who Bring RIGHTEOUS Ruckus ...
To THOSE Heads Above Us ...
Who Treat Us Like SUCKERS ... !!!!!!!!!!!!!

.... "FOLLOW Your Leaders !" ....

The PREACHERS Who CHEAT US ... ?!?

Because They ... DON'T CARE ...
Cos' They Live For THEIR SHARE ... !!!!!
of Pies That DEFINE The ULTIMATE PRICE ... !!!!!

THE PRICE For ... Our FREEDOM ... !!!!!
Humanity's DRAIN Humanity's PAIN ...
Time And ... AGAIN ... !!!!!

When Will We LEARN To COOL Down The BURN ...
of Things That DECEIVE Us Then Leave Us CONCERNED ... !?!

PREVENTION is BETTER Than ANY **** Cure ...
THIS HERE IS My Letter To ... IGNORANT Hoards ... !!!

DON'T Think You're Forgiven ...
For ALL of Your SINNING ... !!!!!
From End To Beginning ...
You Think That You're WINNING ... ?!?!?

How LOST NOW Are We ... ?!?
Seems We Haven't Gone Far ... !?!

And This IS ... MY POSITION ...

On The ...

.... " Human Condition " ....

MAN I Sure Can Pick Em' ... !!!!!!
These ... CONFUSED Women ...
  
It's Like I'm DRAWN ... Somewhat Forlorn ...  
  
Like A King That's PINNED On An Old Chess Board ...  
THIS ONE Was TALL ... Waistline Small ...  
  
Legs That Went Like D'Angelo's Song ....  
On And On And On And ON ............... !!!!!!  
  
Of Irish And EGYPTIAN Descent ... !!!  
So YES You've Guessed ... !!!  
The Type of Girl Who YES TURNED HEADS ... !!!  
  
A Dancer No Less Into ... " Burlesque " ...  
SELLING *** ... Just Like The Rest ... !!!  
  
... " Don't belittle my art ! " ...
  
Is What She Said ...  
When DIVA Was A Word I Said In Jest ....  
  
It Hit Her HARD ... !!!!!  
Like A Shot To The Heart ...  
From A ... POISONED Dart ... ?!?  
  
A View I'd Expressed With No Intent ...  
To ... Belittle Her Passion ... !!!  
  
How Did This Happen ... ?  
Her Angst-Filled Reaction ...  
And Verbal Tongue Lashing ...  
That's Sending Things CRASHING ... !!!
  
She's ANOTHER ONE ...
Who ... Seemed To Be Fun ... !?!  
  
CLAIMING THIS And Claiming THAT ... !!!  
But NEVER Claiming ... What I Pack ... ?  
  
Behind The Zip ...  
At The Front of My Pants ... ?!?  
  
ANOTHER ONE ... ANOTHER ONE ...  
Who Seemed To Get ROCKED ...  
By Words I Dropped ... Into Her Head ... !!!  
  
Like ... Thoughts of *** ...  
That Got Her Up ... Inside My Bed ...  
EVERYTHING Yes Except The *** And Giving Head ...  
  
She CLAIMED To ENJOY ...  
Having Fun With ... " Boys " ...  
  
Well I'm A MAN Who OVERstands ... !!!!!  
  
So NO MORE Time ... !!!  
When What I Find ... Are ISSUES ...  
That Give Life To ... TISSUES ... !!!!!!!  
  
SO MANY Confuse What They SHOULD USE ...  
To Light The Fuse That Love Consumes ...  
  
... They KNOW It's TRUE ... !!!  
  
I Hear It From Young Females Too ... !!!  
They LOVE YOU But ... Then They DON'T ... ?!?  
  
They ... Think You're COOL ...  
But ROCK The Boat ... BEFORE It's Afloat ... ?!!!?  
  
They Think They're ... " QUEENS " ...  
  
But Calling Them DIVAS ... That's Just MEAN ... ?!?  
  
" ANOTHER ONE " ... In Wonderland ... !!!
  
So Alices' Dream I'm Trying To BAN ... !!!!!!!  
  
Because What It Does ...  
Is Leave Men ... STUNNED ... !!!  
  
When THEY Become A Problem Son ... !!!!  
  
HEED These Words And DON'T GET BURNED ... !!!!!  
  
Or ....  
  
" OFF WITH HIS HEAD ! " ...
Is ... What Comes NEXT ... !!!!!!  
  
ANOTHER ONE DEAD ... Why ... !?!
  
Because of ... Something He Said ...  
That HIT Poor Queenie' UPSIDE Her Head ... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
ANOTHER ONE ... YES ...  
Who I Guess Would Suggest ... ?  
  
... " There just aren't men ! " ...
  
Who Can Stand The Test ...  
of What It Is ... That She Represents ... !!!  
  
A Woman Who Is ... INDEPENDENT ... !!!
  
Has A STRONG MIND ... Artistic PRIDE ... !!!  
And A SENSUAL Side That She ........ CAN'T FIND .... ?!!!?  
  
She'd Probably Say .....  
  
... " I'm NOT her type ! " ...
  
That's Just The Way They Like To PLAY ...  
Until The Rules of The Game Are CHANGED ... !!!  
  
So Once I Felt ...  
Enough Cards Had Been Dealt ...  
  
I Made A Play For ANOTHER ONE ...  
Who ... Seemed Like FUN ... ?!?  
  
A Friend of Hers Who Does The Same ...  
Burlesque Routines ... ALL OVER The Place ... !!!  
  
Ms. Egypt ... DIDN'T EVEN Flip ... ?!?  
  
When I Asked For The Digits ...  
To Her Friends ... " Little Hips " ... !!?!!  
  
A SURPRISE ... INDEED ... !!!!!  
But It Later Appeared When The Mist Had CLEARED ....  
That My Text Was Steered Onto A Screen Like Alices' Dream ... ?
  
I MEAN .... I MEAN .... !!!  
HOW COME ... HOW COME ... ???  
  
This Had Become ...  
Something That Was ............  
FAR FROM ................................................... FUN ..... ?!!!?  
  
Well When All's Said And Done ...  
It's The Plight of Men Who NEED TO RUN .................... !!!!!
  
From Women Who CLAIM ...  
To Be .... " Worth The Wait " .....  
  
When They Should Simply Just Be STRAIGHT ... !!!!!  
  
GIVE IT UP WITHOUT The Front ....  
It's ... " FUN TO ***' " ... !!!!!!  
  
Why Be ONE OF THEM Who Cause Men STRESS ... !!!!  
Because of ISSUES ... In Their Heads ... !!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
It Seems THIS TIME ... I SHOULD OF RUN ... !!!!!  
  
Instead of Showing Love ...  
  
To ............  
  
..... " Another One ! " ....

sometimes
i want to open up my head
and scratch the itch in my brain
that will never go away
and it leaves me wallowing in pain
making me wish i was in a grave

instead i lay in my bed
for five days straight
and wonder why i can't move
when i know that it's all you
constantly ruining my mood
and i am only twenty-two

counting the days i have left to live
counting the beats my heart struggles to make
i know that it's difficult to love me
which is why my loneliness is inticing
all i wanted was to be something
instead i think everyone hates me