Sickening,
He found it sickening,
How everyone around him seemed to be in love.
Someone,
They all had someone.
They all had the thing he was dreaming of.
Loverboy was surrounded by love,
He found it excruciating.
Loverboy wished for an angel to come down from above,
To end his misery.

How Loverboy loved,
To hear about everyone’s,
Relationships while he was alone.
Loverboy all on his own.

He went through the motions,
Dancing solo.
Solitude had left him destitute,
Crawling to a new low.
Loverboy watched as,
Lovers and friends,
Intertwined hands.
He envied,
His friend,
And hoped her relationship,
Wouldn’t meet a bitter end.

Circling,
Circling thoughts.
Was Loverboy good enough?
Was it something he lacked?
Loverboy pondered as he turned his back.
He closed himself off from the world,
Too afraid to watch his heart unfurl.

How he loved to listen to,
The gossip of the hearts broken in two.
Some relationships were meant to lose,
Fate demands his dues.
How could he be so unlucky?
Surely, this was the work of irony.
Or, perhaps, was he,
Just unlovable from the beginning?

Loverboy learned not to care,
When his friend spoke about her affairs.
After all, he was alone,
With no opinion to offer besides his own.
His friend was clueless,
Clueless about Loverboy’s mind.
He accepted his fate,
That one day he’d be left behind.

Loverboy’s lack of love,
Led to lies of liable fun.
Just smile and listen to the stories they tell,
His tears overflowed inside his well.
Don’t crack,
Don’t break,
Loverboy can’t afford to make a mistake.
After all, it’s not about you,
It never was,
Loverboy knew this to be true.

Loverboy loved to listen to others’ loves.
A lie to keep him up at night.
Loverboy wished an angel would fall from above,
To show him some love,
Some of that fated love.

Somebody, give me your soul.
Clone army, Somebody 1, Somebody 2,
Anybody! Give me to you,
So that I can become Normal.

I am Nobody alone.
Just a waiting John Doe
For somebody to know
I was never my own.

I wish, I wish it was the case
That we were more alike:
That it wasn't such a hike
To walk the way you pace,

But I'm not. I'm only this.
And if you knew me
For even an eternity,
I'm one no one'll miss.

I'm nobody playing a role.

I have returned all that I borrowed—
the dreams,the heat, the light.
I face a narrow,stark tomorrow,
and welcome the coming night.

I drew a line around my name,
a border with no gate.
Inside,the rules are not the same:
there is no love,no hate.

I wonder—
if you reached out your hand to me,
would it find anything?
Or pass through where I used to be,
a ghost on winter's wing?

My words morph out of place— would you
still entertain the thought of me in the end?

Every star rules its own space,
but the circumstance of a cosmos knots me up,
its circumference bending beyond my grasp.

A smile cracks the mirror—
I cut myself and I bleed from the shards.
Alone in my room, my sighs are heavy
as a tomb buried under the world.

It’s cold, too cold, and I’ve waited for
the heroic ******, that movie moment
where the hero rises—but I’ve climbed my max.

My throat feels split by an axe.
It’s all out of my hands; I tried to leave
it in God’s hands, but faith feels like
hand-me-downs— worn thin, never quite mine.
I light another cigarette, to drag time along with me.

I am not a sad song, just a tune people sing
along to, a chorus written in tears.
Tear me apart, piece me back like armies
lined up only to be shot down.

And when I fall again, I look up,
choking on the silence, and ask,
"Is this really the life I was promised by God?"
But then again, I did this all to myself!

slumber
oh how i wish to paint it golden
let me find peace in nothingness
find the missing amity i'm desperate for

slumber
always weeping without it
please come to me soon
i might go mad, keep me from going lunatic

slumber
i slowly fall into your arms
i trust you more than anything else
don't let me lose my wings when i hold your hand

slumber
you hold me even more tight than before
my bones numb and skin blue 
quite the hostage, isn't it?

slumber
you ripped my wings off and took me under yours
it felt so much better, goodbye sweet joy
i now am dependent on something that worsens me, but i believe it's for the better.

How long, how lost,
how

lonely
is the day?
The sun lies recumbent,
as I do:

languishing in cold storage,
perfectly preserved
in its hollow corner
of sky.

I'm
learning
that we're not unalike.

We burn, with equal intensity
and others, love best
to gaze at us,
from the furthest,
faraway plains.

I seem,
to bring naught,
but discomfort.
Wrapped in pain
like the fading aurora bloom,
of day,

I'm a solar-powered picana

so, please...




avert your eyes.

I didn't know I was
Trapped
Until I met
You.

~

The walls were pressing in,
Though slowly;
Suffocating me,
While I pretended not to notice.
The darkness consumed me,
As the light that was my life
began to dim.

I though it was normal.
Normal,
as my eyes adjusted
to the lack of light,
my lungs to the lack of air.
Adjusted to the merciless pain
This world gives.

I was alone;
Glad about it at that.
Glad that no one else had to
Suffocate;
That not one else
Walked blindly
Beside me.

Then a door opened.

Light poured in,
Burning my eyes at first;
The goodness disguised as bad.

Then you walked in.

You told me that light isn't evil,
and that I'm supposed to breath
In my own skin.
Told me burdens are often
too heavy for one
to bare,
but never too much
for Many.

Floating on an ocean without a shore in sight
"What is the meaning of life" was whispered in my mind

On a moonlit night in the middle of nowhere
I could hear nothing but the weeping of a clueless heir

In the depths of depth, where even light couldn’t reach
I saw him staring back, over the dreams to achieve

In the cold,so cold where even the sun could freeze
I saw him, by himself, looking for a gentle breeze

As a missing part somewhere, I couldn’t but admire
Yet I found myself, once again, nowhere, slowly drowning in an endless quagmire

In the search of warmth,a hope and light
I kept floating and floating,untill the dawn of this night