I promise to tell the truth,  the whole truth and nothing but the truth
So help me God.

Connection your honor.
In this case it can be described as being one with myself.

The ability to then be connected with others.
Let the record show,  it takes hard work,  inner growth and release of ego.
The evidence will show lack of negative energies expressed,
And influx of positive vibes.

Objection; this isn't a sustainable lifestyle.
Overruled.

The defendant has admitted to past involvement in self sabotage.
With a history of willingness to introspection, meaningful dialogue, and sincere change.

Without threat or coercion I choose to let go of the toxic and insignificant,
And plead to expand knowledge and deep understanding of self and others.

To be the bright,  humble and shining Star I was born to be.  

The defense rests.

My soul cries out for truest peace
But flesh trades rest in mindless ease.

My soul, it yearns for truest love
But flesh says pleasure is enough.

My soul will strain for freedom dear
But flesh holds comfort out of fear.

My soul will long to show pure love
But my flesh decides it's done enough.

My soul wants selfish thoughts to break
But my flesh will live to only take.

"Enough," my soul arose and said,
"I will not rest 'til Flesh is dead.

"It can't be done in just a day,
But I will fight and find a way.

"I'll struggle hard as it holds on
And grapple with in 'till the dawn."

I'm choosing not the path of ease.
Now I will fight for truth and peace.

I've been trying to run away from my demons but somehow it feels like I'm just running in circles...
I've been trying to run away from myself, but the mirrors in my room have managed to trap me inside...
I've been trying to scream and let this air out, but my pride has cut off the oxygen inside my lungs...
I've been trying to figure out my place in this life... but I just find arrows pointing in different directions, so I'm at a standstill feeling lost...

This internal fight is like battle that has no ending date... my soldiers completely exhausted, don't know how long they can continue on... and I in the middle of the field just waiting for the deadly shot.

In spite of everything ... my heart continues on a fearless pursuit for the thief that has taken happiness its hostage ... my heart doesn't care how much my mind has to fight... or how badly my feet want to run on the opposite direction.

My heart is the ultimate warrior, the only one to save me when my anxious lifetime companion tries to become a permanent visitor inside my home.

I am the last of a dying breed,
The shrinking group of people who can say,
They know me.
Not my name,
Nor my stories.
Hell, half of them are lies.
I am alone with my thoughts, and actions, and mind,
And I can tell you for sure,
That we are all alone, together.
We are not how we're seen, or how we see ourselves;
I am every ****** thing I have ever done,
And if somebody knew,
They would weep for the part of me that still gives a ****.
Thankfully, I know what they do not.
That this part of me does not exist.

Walk along the sunlit street, and listen to the birds.
Listen to the angels and their softly spoken words.
Listen to the sound of wind across a grassy knoll,
But don't listen to the hole.
It's time to smell the roses, and the little daffodils,
It's time to smell the smell of your dad's burger on the grill.
Why don't you go outside and enjoy a pleasant stroll?
Just don't listen to the hole.
Because the closer that you get, to this hole inside the ground,
The more that you will hear the most horrific of all sound,
It's the sound of every evil thing that lives inside your soul,
So don't listen to the hole, please don't listen to the hole.

"Who are you?" I ask aloud.
"There should only be one, but I can see two."

"Who am I?" You repeated my question.
"I'm the one who can never leave your side."

"If your here to stay," I sigh and sit.
"You might as well help me through this day."

"That's not what I do," You laughed and jumped.
"My job is to set up obstacles to drag you through."

"What's the point?" I tilted my head.
"We are one of the same, connected at the joint."

"No, we aren't." You rolled your eyes.
"I'm the one preventing you from trying anything new."

as time goes by
i find myself
drifting closer to saying goodbye.

because i'm scared
to show you all that's inside
when all that's there are empty lies.

when will i be able to tell you this
i wonder?
perhaps never but remember me clear

i don't open up like a flower in the spring
perhaps you found me pretty as a bud.
but I will firmly stay shut
since i don't want the harsh wind to blow my petals away.

a passerby may find them pretty
but they are all my tears that they don't know.
so my dear,

closed as i may be
i only fear
that one day you may flee from me.

~~~Excuses of a different kind~~~

"I have a story to tell ...
              But they probably already know it.
                                We have all been through hell." -

"Open your mouth and just let it out...
              But it's in the past.
                                I'm ok now?" -

"Just say it and lift this burden, let me free...
              But I would if I could.
                                It's you and not me." -