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ICN Oct 2015
I don't know how to explain this feeling
If you can even call it that
It's more like how to describe someone devoid of feeling
I lack the capacity to demonstrate emotion

But then does that mean that when I cry it is just for show?
Or is it that my body reacts externally but not internally?

I guess it's difficult to explain something you've never had.
//the thoughts in my head are impossible to convey\\
Effie Oct 2015
God,
You're like a smile.
Brighten up my day,
Send me to the sky

God,
I wish you'd show some face.
Tell me that you're happy
When you're in my eyes.

Boy,
Why you so **** sad,
All of the time,
Always being grey?

I
Do not really care.
He's got satan in his eyes
So we are on our way.

All I need and all I want
Give it to me, all you've got.
Make me beg, make me plead
The devil's all I really need.

Satan in his eyes.
No use saving that soul.
When we die together
To hell we will go.
Born bad, always was,
Never says a word 'bout love.
I don't care, I want him.
Say's god's dead, there's no above.

Dark
Navy like the night
Soft pale skin
Making me go crazy.

Flip
All your pretty hair
Put your gun away
Save it for later

Please,
I'm begging you to say
That I really mean
Something to you.

He
Doesn't even care,
Knows I'll never leave
Even if I want to.

All I have and all I see,
Just lie to me , pretty please.
Make me mad, make me cry
Love him but I don't know why.

Satan in his eyes,
No use saving that soul.
When we die together
To hell we will go.
Born bad, always was,
Never says a word 'bout love.
I don't care, I want him.
Says god's dead, there's no above.

I'm not asking for too much,
I don't need a ring.
Makes me so much happier
When I can hear you sing.
Love the way your lips move
When you talk about god.
Makes me feel so small,
And I like it a lot.
And I love it
A lot.

Satan in his eyes,
No use saving that soul.
When we die together,
To hell we will go.
Bright fire, flashing flames,
No one but ourselves to blame
You're with me, I'm with you
There's nothing else I'd rather do.
zackery jennings Oct 2015
white, black, grey do we choose white or black
maybe we choose grey  for combined is white and
black not more powerful with multiple shades of
grey some darker others lighter none purely black
or purely white just grey like the static of a tv
without signal ever a war between white and black in grey's territory this is every ones personal war within.
this i wrote a few years back its namely about balance
augmentedreality Oct 2015
sometimes you've got to let the air touch the bottom of your lungs. 
let it plunge to the depths and very fibres of your being.

then you will know what it truly means to live.
Baylee Sep 2015
Much like being trapped in an elevator,
Awaiting your rescue,
Wondering if you should be the one to save yourself,
But you start panicking once the doors wont open,
You feel yourself shrinking,
Drowning in your thoughts,
Internally collapsing from the stress,
You begin to hyperventilate,
But not audibly, no, it's completely silent,
The utter silence itself is deafening,
You question the stability and structure
Of the suspended room that your life is being held in,
Back to the silence, was that a creaking sound
Or are you just starting to become paranoid now,
Is someone on the outside trying to pry the doors open
To help rescue you, and get you out,
Or is someone simply mindlessly hitting the elevator button
Waiting for it to come, though it never will,
Surely they'll become annoyed and just take the stairs,
But how are you supposed to get out of this situation,
This state of complete panic, you start to sob,
And that's when you realize that this is what anxiety feels like.
After a recent experience of getting trapped in an elevator, those minutes you're waiting to be saved seem like the longest moments of your life, specially for someone who already has an underlying fear of elevators. Not to mention the fact that you're someone who has serious anxiety problems, so this situation only makes you reflect outward and even further inward on yourself.
Matt Berkes Aug 2015
A thousand thoughts a second
My mind burns incandescent
Not everything here is pleasant

I try to think
The thoughts I want
But in the back,
The vehement things haunt.

And who I am battles
Who I long to be
And I can't pull them apart
Long enough
To know
Why they're fighting.

A thousand thoughts a second
And not a single sane one
Is present.

I'm just a force of will
That is out of my control.
An enigma.
An abomination.
Ameliorate Aug 2015
Impossibility runs rampant within me
Overplaying scenarios lost within the inner land of "what if's" and possibilities
I've been this way as long as I can remember
Simplified emotions, yet my brain is an over-thinker who's job is to make me as miserable as possible
Oh, but to dream like I do
Blessings and a curse if you will
For I have an idealistic imagination
Dreams play out like movies on the big screen when I slumber
On occasion I've turned what I can remember in the morning into a short story
Most lay unfinished, the flow long forgotten
Perhaps lying in wait to see if I'll ever return
This is part of who I am as a whole though, an arrangement of puzzle pieces mostly correctly assembled.
Strong willed, strength embodied.
It took twenty four years to even fathom who I am and at twenty six I finally truly know.
At times I wish others would see who I am right off the bat and understand me.
I just want to share moments with people, to experience love in all forms.
To run wild down the back roads of the country, stay up late exchanging stories.
Being misunderstood can be left open to interpretation.

I am free.
Megan Elliott Jul 2015
The heart of the beast is pounding, pounding, pounding

Your legs are pumping, pumping, pumping

Its growl deep and head low

Watching you, its pray

Ready to pounce at any moment

But then, whoosh, it's gone

Into nothing, thin air, emptiness

You keep going because you're scared, unaware

The edge greets you

Instincts take over and you stop

The silence is deafening

Where did it go?

How are you alive?

It only took a moment to realize that the beast is inside

And in that moment, you deside

To fight the thing with yellow eyes

Aloud you say "Come out to play."

The sword is somehow there

You grab it and fight

For love, for life, for fear

The final blow is brought down

So is a crown

You slayed the beast that ruled your thoughts

Now it's your turn

Show them who's boss
raingirlpoet Jul 2015
every last word
was for you
those that i
didn’t know how
couldn’t ever say
i was always
afraid how do
i do this
me and you
so i never
showed you my
other other side
i’m not ready
for the trainwreck
i’ll inevitably cause
my thoughts derail
hold me prisoner
going full speed
she’s so real
she’s always there
she doesn’t exist
she’s my friend
she is me
this is me
i love us
i really meant
every last word
-
-z.z
inspired by a book i just read, every last word by tamara ireland stone.
I only hope the darkness doesn't
invade you as it does unto me.
Too often I have scrambled
within the pits it digs
over and over.
My arms, my will
may be just enough
to cast you away,
leaving but one victim
to endure the neurotic torture.
Allow it to remain internal
so I shall carry it
alone and eternal.
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