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(what lives in me before I understand)

It begins in my body
long before my mind arrives.
A surge, a flicker,
a trembling at the root of me
that says:
we are already feeling.

There is no stillness
that does not ripple.
No calm
that doesn’t carry the hum beneath it -
not peace,
but a kind of readiness.
Like lightning waiting just behind the skin.

I used to try to stop it.
To breathe it away.
To silence it
before it unraveled me in front of someone else.

But it only grew sharper in the hiding.
It only screamed louder
the more I tried to be soft.

Now,
I listen.

Not because I’m unafraid,
but because I’m done pretending
this isn’t me.

This intensity -
it isn’t a problem.
It’s a language.
One I’ve been speaking since before I had words.
Maybe even longer.
Maybe it was handed down,
a birthright carved from all the grief
my blood couldn’t name.

It leaves when it wants to.
Returns just as quickly.
There is no asking it to stay gone.
Only learning
not to run
when it comes back.

And so I live
with this current in me.
I build small shelters around it.
I move gently
but not away.

I say:
I hear you.
You don’t have to beg.
This is the name I gave the part of me that feels first and explains later. It’s not chaos - it’s a current, an inherited rhythm I’m learning not to silence. I wrote this for every time I was told to calm down when I was already trying my hardest to stay in the room. This isn’t a problem. It’s a language. And I’m done translating it away.

Fingers slide, sensuous,
Tracing sunlit skin,
Caressing warm memories,
Etching my heart within.

Lips share passions,
Of word and kiss,
Tongues bare souls,
Fears, hopes, and bliss.

Dreaming in your embrace,
Arms encircle, legs entwine,
Drifting in your eyes,
Love reflected, in yours, in mine.

©2015 ©2025 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Malia Jul 9
He kisses her like the breath you take
After sinking underwater.

She kisses him like a forest fire—
The way the flame caresses wood and grass
Consumed in a little sunrise.

The wave crashes into the shore.

It smells like salt, blue and briny,
It feels like sand on your skin.

The gulls cry overhead, but they
Cannot compete with the
𝘴𝘩𝘩, 𝘒𝘚𝘏𝘏𝘏, 𝘴𝘩𝘩, 𝘒𝘚𝘏𝘏𝘏, 𝘴𝘩𝘩.
Lyteweaver Jun 21
You didn't ask me to.
But I threw my heart at you.
I stroked your ego and put you on a pedestal.
I bore my soul to you sharing the blood ink from my pen.
I was patient with your triggers and wounded words.
I saw in you magnificence that you didn't see in yourself.
I threw my heart at you
even though you didn't ask me to.
And like a ninja
you deflected it
boomeranging it back to me
slapping me in my face.
I pick up my blocked heart from the ground.
It's a little scratched and dented
but I open up my chest and stick it back in place.
Won't be long before I look for the next unsuspecting victim
to get blindsided
by my heart
spinning toward them like a Six Pointed Chinese Throwing Star.
Kshamata T May 15
I used to think death was when the brain stopped working,
when the heart stopped beating.
But the day I kissed and felt nothing—
I knew I had already died.
Death isn't just physical.
It's the numbness.
It’s loving someone or something
that no longer nurtures your soul.
It feels like burning in flames—
and somehow enjoying the intensity.
Not wanting to be saved.
Yes, I’m burning.
And for the first time,
I feel safe—
because everyone is afraid to come too close.
This is where most people die.
But strangely,
I love to live here.
In this insensibility—
a phase where I’m falling apart,
terribly,
but finally feeling secure.
I wish to stay guarded,
forever.
Marissa Lynn May 12
I will never forget our first night together.
The way he swiftly grabbed me by my waist the moment I shut the door behind me.
He pulled me in, hypnotized by his ocean blue eyes, I simply could not resist him.
He kissed me, and with the roaring intensity of a tidal wave, I was left there striped naked and exposed; swimming in the depths of his desire & unspoken love for me.
Our souls, bound to one another.
And it was a peaceful feeling.
A feeling of familiarity.
It felt as if my soul sighed in relief, because in that moment I knew that I have returned to a lover I have spent centuries seeking after.

I felt safe in his presence. Secure.
I could be vulnerable & shamelessly feminine.
Something I always yearned for but could never fully entrust onto another.
Out of fear & disappointment that they could not adequately nurture & protect me.
But what we shared was something that was once only found within the realm of my dreams, and the dark recesses of my subconscious.
A love that I knew in my bones existed all along and was desperate to experience again.
So desperate that I foolishly tried to seek our bond through partners that could only see me from the surface.
They were afraid to dive deep enough to reach me.
I was left drowning & gasping for breath, suffocating from the lack of depth and intimacy that they failed to provide to even themselves.
I was met only by men with lustful eyes and an unquenchable thirst that led to me enduring devastating betrayals & soul-crushing heartbreaks…

But on that first night with him, I understood why their love was only skin deep.
They were all lessons I had to learn.
Lessons to teach me to love & value myself so that I could transform, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of past lovers sins.
I shed my old skin, ready to embrace the world with a newfound love for myself.
My self-worth magnetizing him to me like a moth to a flame.
A sailor following a sirens call through the oceans mist.  
Circumstances kept us apart, but divine timing brought us together once I was ready.
Ready to let go, surrender and dance in the flames of our eternal love.
ab ja na Apr 19
we will gift each other daggers and stab a hole in each others chest. slide our hands into it and grab at our throbbing hearts. feel that? pulsating life
painted scarlet
tasting like rust,
like us.
bury me in you, will you?
ab ja na Apr 19
will you come look at everything i killed today?
and don't look away. be privy i plead,
pry please pry, i will bleed pink
heed, i am so in need
let's strip skin and watch each other, shall we?
Asher Jan 7
Beating me to tears,  
then you hold me, comforting
a cruel, warm circle.
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