it's when you decide
to continue living,

you realise that
you haven't been living at all

She of moonfire
Entranced by her sleeping prince
Hands on heart, serene

“The scentless plastic flower/It’s kinda different from the flowers I knew previously”

This difference makes all the difference, doesn’t it,
The way you smile and laugh seems stiff and practiced,
Yet it’s beautiful in its own way, looking through glass,
I can’t smell your fragrance but I admire you from afar.

“I can’t understand and I’m going crazy/Spinning my head”

Soon I feel myself falling, cascading soil of the flower ***,
You’re driving me crazy, I’m going crazy and crazy and crazy,
Yet I still pick you up, hold you close, feeling your plastic hardness,
It digs into my palm and etches into my heart.

“This is a really intense lovesickness/No, it’s a harmful toxic”

I see right through your lies, your answers, your sharp brilliance,
I see the faded, dusty boy underneath, tired and worn and wondering

“I’m an ignorant loser when it comes to love methods”

It’s been five days since I’ve started, how many more days until it ends

“Come to my side as you’re such a waste beside that person/The person who can fill you up with your fragrance is here”

I remind myself your roots are not true,
Yet they grow and twist and beckon and poison
Looking for a lovesick girl to prey upon,
Looking for a loving girl to take from.

“I find you through buzzing/Buzzing towards you”

My secret becomes a disease, slowly traveling throughout,
If you were to be with me, you would feel it too.
Pain more than pleasure, that’s what real love is.
I’ll find you and teach you, plastic boy.

I am who I make myself to be, and nothing else.
The strange voices tell me otherwise,
but I know that they're not real -
they never have.

No one is born liking themselves,
nor is anyone born hating themselves either.

I understand this better now.

Dark demented young soul,,
fire consuming bright eyes,
traveling this broken road alone,
lost on a path hunting true devotion,

insanity coursing in these hollow veins,
walk with me to witness
a depraved mind running blind,
dividing lines blurring right or wrong,
only the wicked could live so long
in a journey so twisted,
yet reality shows me my true frailty
in one calamity,
true tragedy was my extremity,

In the end I'll load up this chamber,
finally lights out,
Solid stainless destroying empty sadness
with a cleansing clatter & flash,
one round to destroy
a sick Madness with a beautiful blast

These pages
of my life's stages
wilt & decay,
frail bones will rot
in our grave,
nothing is forever
ties and tongues severed,
fire fueled hearts change
as does the weather,
it's a harsh cold reality
time a commodity,

some say it's wasted youth
searching,

running through the pain
coping in my own lane
left  yearning..

snags in the road
destructive holds,
love’s sick tricks
ignorance
carries a death wish,
yet I'm glad to have her love
cause without it
Nightmares swarm
Casting shadows shaped
by karma’s forked tongue