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Bloomy ashes Jul 29
it's night again.
the room gets dark.
the stars—my audience.
the moon—my stage light.

my thoughts resurface
behind the velvet curtains of my mind.
they’re loud, bold—
as if to make me shrink.

it's 2.07am.
and i can no longer tell the difference
between silence and screams.

i turn and turn
like hands of the clock.
tic. tic.
TOC.

it's morning again.
curtains close like tired eyelids.
the stars fall.
the moon dims.
maybe now
sleep will remember
that it still owes me.
for my overthinkers and unslept
just me and my 79% sleep debt
Arpitha Jul 27
It’s the middle of the night
I wake up from fear, yet again
The monsters now live in my head
No longer hiding under the bed
Tilde S S Jul 22
Be, be, be
Everything rhymes
Why is it me?

Me, me, me
I don't want to be
I just want to see
See colours and flavours and,
everything I cannot be
things I want to see
things when I try to breathe
To relieve myself of things I need
Things I need and ways I feed

Feed, feed, feed
Feeling like food is not how it's supposed to be
Not how I should feel
Food is an enemy, food is a friend
Food nourishes to no end
So why oh why does it hurt to eat?
It shouldn't, that's why,
we all try not to eat

Try, try, try
I cannot comprehend why
Me oh no I
why do I try
Everything they do just makes me cry
Just be normal
Just be kind
All I want
Is to wake up and see the light
Light from which I no longer have to try
to see,
cry,

Maybe it's better to sleep at night
Kalliope Jul 22
Sleep reaches for me
But I'm held down
Everything I've never done
Everything I need to do
Grasps me tightly
Bruised and clawed
I lay here flawed
Sleep reaches for me
But I can't reach back
Have you ever rearranged your living room at 2 am?
enty Jul 20
The backs of my eyes are constantly crying,
they sing a screeching song.
The only source of rest is dying,
for trying to sleep would take too long.
-nt
Lee Jul 19
I can’t move,
I can’t wake up
I’m screaming for you.
Shake me
Slap me (if you can without hate)
Wake me up
But my brain dropped the gate
Yuiza Nabin Jul 17
the beauty, the resolute stillness of night
and the absence of a day's wreckage, too
is no consolation for that greater hollow
which yet darkens my countenance
and voids my soul

but in the aches of time, all shall emerge complete
if unfilled then at least whole —
holy, even — under better eyes than mine
more open eyes than mine, heavy under insomnia

so, in passing with the moon,
that complete and empty dawn will arrive by a close of the eyes, a gentle descent to sleep

which is why it cannot come so easily,
lest the waking day illume my solitude
Inspired by 'Good Morning, Midnight' - Jean Rhys. Written before I slept, so I guess I'm a hypocrite.

first of the 'nocturnes' series
Arpitha Jul 15
It’s 12 am
The struggle is just beginning
I toss and turn
If I can locate the right spot
Maybe I’ll finally fall asleep

It’s 1 am
Music pours into my ears
I try to get swept away
If I can find the right lullaby
Maybe I’ll finally fall asleep

It’s 2 am
Thoughts race in my head
Going over every mistake
If I can think of the perfect scenario
Maybe I’ll finally fall asleep

It’s 3 am
A sitcom plays in the background
I listen to the fake laughter
If I come across something comforting
Maybe I’ll finally fall asleep

It’s 8 am
I don’t know know what time I slept
But I know it is the time
To get up and go to work
And pretend everything’s okay.
Nosy Jul 14
I toss, I turn.
My blankets—too warm,
then too cold,
like storms across my skin.
My thoughts go.

Never silence—
just a pain burning behind my eyes,
a mind wired
to a clock not built
for this reality.

I get up and circle my room,
Sit down, play a tune,
Write my ghosts onto paper,
Reshape my pillow.

A breeze,
a hum,
a passing car—
all rise like ghosts,
but none loud enough
to drown the ones in my head.

“Please be quiet,”
I whisper to my mind.
But instead,
it grins and says:

“Remember what you did 10 years ago?”
“Wasn’t that moment strange? Embarrassing? Wrong?”

I give no reaction.
I’ve learned:
engagement feeds them.
So I lie there,
Handing off insane,
hoping the ceiling swallows me whole
And take away my pain.

I cannot shut off—
not until I’m lowered, into a silence
Surrounded by the mournful,
deep enough to dull the thoughts,
until I’m sealed away
and my mind finally softens.
Ken Pepiton Jul 14
will you, won't you
will you, won't you
will you, won't you xchange

reality, we believe, we take agency
we agree aggressive will to cohere,

be here,
on point, first respondent, codefendant,

mental, pause and reflect, what can matter,
what remains unexplained, mere must be there,

dark materials essential for the data we share,
all knowing humans never in history have known,

just, what,
justice, instantiated, on the cross,

wait, face reality, what one man doubts,
another testifies, was what we all must just

believe, like tov ra means nothing more than
good, and evil

and any child can tell the difference,

as if, in reality as made aware we are, among stars,
incredibly arranged in patterns appearing, to us,

as more than any before us could imagine, and we,
first live Earthian sapient writing species, wrote we
lieve be the faith of the ruling majority among us,
as the good books makes many believe, we do, too,
believe that whatsoever and whosover are general
artfully designated pre posed ever what or who
may once upon this very time feel drawn into

the greatest story ever told, on earth, unbeknownst
to any mind let be in Jesus, the fixer of Judaic flaws,

mostly along exceptionalist matters of archeological

reasonings remains from the prophets sawn asunder,
for reasons all Pharisee degrees deny worth under
standing

as if the actual lines attested
to as literal interpretations,
of genuine wisdom manifestations, sought
by the loser, found
by the browser
in ancient cesspits, pearls shat
and left un re discovered
for someday,
someday,
some
day

but likely not this one, this is sleep, not death,
I shut my eyes and think a thanks, truth prevails.
Words wished artful unartful, officially mentally abnormalized... you realize, you did discern some ality re thunk in hunks of burning love. Or not.
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