I'm a demolitions expert of renown
Star of the show, the talk of the town
A destroyer of worlds they say
Or at the very least a destroyer of one
Voices rang inside my head
When things were good in my life
The urge to sabotage, the want to destroy
The desire to go off-course, the desire to stop
It has been there for as long as I can remember
Guiding me to the dark path
More often winning than being ignored
It was something I blamed for the way things are
But that was just me, my subconscious, my insecurity
Molding my decisions to be as suboptimal as possible
I need to accept, and got to learn accountability
Face the consequences, and fix the broken crucible
I want to destroy no more, for destruction is already here
Already suffering for the mess I have made
What I thought I deserved, I definitely do not
Now I have to make do with what little I have left
Let it stand as a lesson, let it stay as a warning
Beware when you light the fuse and watch the sparks
They may shine beautifully, but they are searing to the eyes
And if you do continue, give the big boom my regards
Self-destruction and sabotage is a struggle some people cope with daily.
One way or another some people think that they don't deserve all the good things that go their way. So they do some action, or enact upon a decision that will harm the self in ways beyond the physical.
Then **** happens.
There's also the self-fulfilling prophecy of some people thinking they deserve bad things, and do get them one way or another. The law of attraction is a *****.
By some people, that includes me. Self-awareness is a pain that one must endure.
