Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Alaynah Sep 2018
I got really high tonight
And chose to specifically take
The time to view over my thoughts

Such a sad place:
Full of wretched self judgemental opinions
You aren’t good enough said me to me in the mirror
You’ll never be loved and you’ll never be successful
You’re only a time to time beneficial resource to the ones you thought cared about you
Nobody will ever love you for you, you either give them what they want or they’re gone
Everyone in your life will leave you eventually
You’re such a disappointment
You’re so ugly
You're crazy
She's prettier than you and has such a nice body
You're not good enough and never will be
Stop getting so attached nobody wants to stay
Hate yourself
Nobody would care if you disappeared
Why’re you even here?

Although I occasionally think about this
dark room in my head while sober
I always fake it away and try not to think about it
I never truly take the time to
think about everything gives me
sad and anxious feelings
This is depressing
I don’t wanna be in this dark room anymore

Caution!!! Bad vibes only

I try to exit this room
but the doors are locked
I CAN’T GET OUT
I try to knock down the door
With the little energy I have
After this major dark attack
I finally get to leave

Sober you knows everything will be okay
I'm never going back there again
Nap time…
NoahArkenswagg Sep 2018
Panick.. Insane panick, eyes that dart like marbles in a glass sphere, mind racing faster than neurons allow, insanity breathing down her neck...desperation..and anger..and powerlessness, and pain and tears. After such torment, why would she trust another ... Why should she not be stronger than damsels and wiser than queens. Noah_arkenswagg
teni Sep 2018
i am a bomb.
tick tick ticking.
i am neutral as of now
who knows when i'll explode
taking everyone near me out, too.

im so sorry for all the pain
i have brought upon you.
im so sorry for always making you worry.
im so sorry for never being stable.
i know its annoying when
you have to constantly check
and double check
and triple check
that im safe
and doing as well as can be.
i know the dry replies are hard to work around.
when i don't have the mental capacity
to hold a single ******* conversation.
"yeah"
"lol"
"ok"
its hard for me, too.

im so ******* scared of being alone.
i can hardly function with the support i have,
how the **** will i do it on my own?
the answer is simple :
i wont.

i will give up on myself
just as everyone else has.
i will collapse into the dirt
moldy and rotten
a corpse of empty emotion.
and nobody will dig me up.
everyone is deaf , for they have never heard my cries for help.
Gabriel Bonney Sep 2018
I use to let the eyes in the dark
Creep in my concious and part my heart
I would feed the stomach in my brain
Feasting on the thought that I'm insane
I'd lock myself in another room
As I would enter a state of gloom
I would write to rid a mind of wrong
Turns out the eyes would read along
I will avoid those eyes,
turn on a light,
and unlock the door.

The more I put my trust in writing rather than letting God take care of my emotions, the more I lose hope. So this poem is to say that I'm going to work on giving everything over to God before writing it, because that will help
kathryntheperson Sep 2018
he feels sick
and often heavy
his mind is full of sand
he's living in a dream
a reality he cant stand
he scares me with his thoughts
and the conversations in his head
telling me he's happy
but wishing he was dead
i don't understand what goes on in his mind
i'm in love with a mad man
and i'm scared to call him mine
and he's madly in love with me.
You never knew how much I loved you.
Sitting on a tree.
Minding the stump.
I was afraid you might fall!

Burlesque minds make fun of you.
Call me an idiot too. I think.
But every time I hear the screams,
I just can't get over that you'd tell me to delete you!

Since when was a man measured by the viscosity of his morals.
To invest online my heart.
But the world told me too, I never had a choice. Because the world decides whether I'm fated to invest in your company. But where would it end? Easy, the world cuts off your existence like a hot knife through crying butter. Could a fate ever be so cruel as mans resistance to the reproachful sickening thud of two people never being able to feel deeply about each other again? But the world doesn't tell the moon what to do. She sits there, waiting patiently for someone to come **** her.  She's come to understand that life without a heartbeat is not a life worth living. because everyone who came into the world, our moon included gave their heart to someone. The world told her too. So what if its painful? So what if it's pitiful? Everyone does it so it must be correct, truly. Those words. I love you. Just having you by my side keeps me from hating myself a little. I like the pain of being with you. I don't ever want to leave this place, it's lovely. No one ever liked me before I met you. Touch me harder, rub me harder. I will achieve your dreams with you. I don't like to see you sad. My heart has been connected to you since the day we met. I like guys with long hair. I like girls with a nice ***. I'd give up the world for you. Now you know that I like you. Don't ever think you are alone. Even if he doesn't like you, I like you, I love you. When we become ghosts, we can be together forever. You're my hero. Don't ever leave me. You're my purpose for living. We don't have to be rich, we're happy together. It's not that I like you! I just wanted to help you. You're the only one who understands me. My reason for being is you. I've always loved you. You're the only scream I like. Don't ever make me cry, I couldn't stand it if you made me cry. We can stay in heaven together honey. I'll stop whoever makes you sad. Please come back tonight, I miss you. My heart can't take anyone else, just stay with me. We'll be the best of partners! No one could ever touch me like you do. I had a really good time, I mean that. I cherish the world for bringing me you. I will marry you. He could never hold a candle to you. You've ruined me for all other men. I can't be with anyone as long as they're not you. Keep me in your heart forever. We'll get married when we grow up.  I will love you, so don't ever say such miserable things, you're running away. Please don't delete me, I love you. I'll be here forever.

But the world just kept on moving.
It never stopped to tell the moon those words she wanted to hear.
That it was sorry.
The responsibility was just too much.
Just trying out this style of writing, pretty cool
Joshua Michael Aug 2018
I’m sorry I’m sorry
I said, Stepping in
The mental hospital
I’m not right in the head

I’ve been constantly slicing
Cutting through skin
To escape myself
To survive my hell

I wish to see your face
when they finally let me free.
I wish you would write
or call me just once

But for now, just visions of you
While I’m drowning
In my own crimson blood
Tearing
       Splitting
            Ripping
Searching for the key
To this mental prison

The nurse walks away
After haven given
Me some medication
Something to calm me

The straight jacket now
Holding me firm
They put me down
I Sit there an empty stare
  
They filled me up with drugs
keeping my head in narcotic haze.
Pill after pill all day, every day
I am broken and defeated

Paralyzed
Broken
Alone
Sitting here in a mental home.
Its been a few days inside now, i'm finally allowed some time to write and use the computer. Its cold in here, its lonely and they are constantly watching The screams at night are the worst.
Next page