I'm only human
But I feel like the world expects me to be a God
Refusing to accept me because I'm not like them
A puppet with strings sticking out of his broken limbs
A pretender hiding his face behind the white mask of solitude
Walking the same beated path the rest of you slaves do
I'm sorry world but I rather not be a slave to society
Because I'm own being who travels the road less taken
A being who paves his own destiny with every step he takes
Because I'm the master of my fate and the captain of my soul
And I refuse to be a piece of lettuce in another's salad bowl
So instead selling myself out like a ****** on the side of the road
I'll be a king who sits on his own throne

EVERYONE! Last February I took part in a gathering of visual, musical, and written artists with a wonderful collective called Err. This Twin Cities based collective gathers artists from all over and puts on shows showcasing every person in one night.

Over the past two years they have showcased 100 artists and now we, all together, are publishing an anthology of our work. Each artist has submitted one piece to be included in the book but now we need your help to make it a reality. We have started a campaign on Kickstarter to get our project off the ground.

We are at the half way point but we still need help. Everyone on this site has been amazingly supportive of my work and if you are at all able; anything you can give is beyond immensely appreciated.

Please check out our campaign page and, if you are moved by our efforts, consider donating.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/391424492/err-volume-i?ref=user_menu

As I began to write,
my emotions kept cutting.
Deeper and deeper,
as if I was staring to wage
a virtual war unto myself.

I became an aviator to explore all I wanted to see,
to feel the sun upon my skin and wander strong and free.
And learn about this life so far the things I already knew,
be brave enough to trapeze this world and see the oceans blue.
Eyes cloaked and squinting under all the sunshine's might,
a sense of dazzling clarity from both senses and the light.
Hello new dawn hello new day and hello to new me,
tethered oh so heavily when I used to be at sea.
Long may this greatness stay with every moment passing through,
and blown away the fog will be that blurs life's glistening hue.
Dreaming that the sun will never settle into night,
or that my wings will fail me now or cause me to alight.

I hate this feeling of dread
knowing that no matter how I prepare myself
I won't be able to stop it

No matter who I surround myself with
I cannot stop the inevitable feeling
that I will feel
When I am away from my family
even for a single day

I can't hide from the feeling
of homesick
and I don't think it will change

You call me an entity
and you died for me
inside the mouth of the shark
In shards and reclaimed pieces

You call me an entity
and still hold me on the bow
showing me way in the deep oceans
Anchoring the sails through our ails

You call me an entity
and yet use the saw to cut the wood
lighting a fire in my heart to keep me warm
Fuelling the depth cords of my soul

You call me an entity
as I walk in this empty mansion
alone and aloof chasing the phantoms
Rolling in the depth of your ever felt breath

You call me an entity
as my whispers tickles the land down under
as we tow the rainbow holding our love
Making the time to hear your sweet voice

one day someone will walk into your life just at the right time
and you will think that all of your unanswered questions
are answered
and that all of your loose ends
are *******
and that all of your fears and worries
will go away.
you will be wrapped up in their arms and you will feel warm
safe,
complete,
whole.
you will unknowingly put their happiness
before yours
and they will
take and
take and
take
and you won’t even notice
and you will think it’s all okay
because you will think while
they are taking parts of you,
they are giving you parts of them as well.
and maybe they are.
but one day
after it’s been a long time
and after they complete your thoughts
and after they know your biggest secret
and after they know how you like your coffee
and they have memorized your wardrobe
so they know when you buy a new shirt
you will find out that they weren’t giving you all of them.
you will find out that you have run yourself dry
and they are still standing tall
and so little of you is inside of them
that they can walk away and they can be sad for a moment
but they can forget about you.
you will be left wondering what went wrong
and you will want to go back to them
because it is the only thing that you know
and you have forgotten that once,
before they walked into your life,
you were okay.
you were fine.
you were happy
and not sad
and not missing them
or anyone for that matter.
there will be days and nights
when you are so sad that you can’t get up from your bed
and there will be times when you look at yourself and only see him
and there will be moments when you feel the entire world crashing down and there will be seconds when the world seems to stop spinning.
but let me tell you this-
one day, you will be okay again.
not because you found someone else to complete your thoughts
or know your favorite things,
but because you realize that you can do all of this on your own.
you can write your own sentences
and you can experience things without someone by your side
and making you think that you need them in order to truly be happy.
first ,you will be sad.
you will be sadder than you have ever been
and you will write in your journal
and listen to depressing music
and feel like you can’t move on
and like you can’t be alone.
but one morning you will wake up
and he won’t be the first thing you think of.
one night you will go to sleep
and appreciate a bed all to yourself
and not wish that he,
or anyone else,
was there too.
one day you will see who you are
and what you can do
and how little you need someone else.
one day you will not give yourself away to someone
and you will keep it all within you.
one day you will be okay.
one day.

I have been
nothing before
and while I prefer
to be something
to you
zero
is a perfect circle
the beginning
the end
one seamless strand
made whole