The days are going faster lately,
I'm keeping myself busy with work, and chores,
and reading, and noise.
I listen only to the electro music you hate and stay away from the songs you used to sing.
I find myself not thinking about you every minute,
and I also find myself unable to rest, unable to stop, because I'm scared of drifting towards you..
The days are becoming easier,
but the nights are still the worst.
When the lights and sounds are off and I get to feel the empty side of my twin bed, that's when I wish I could erase the past month without you, thats when I wish I could time travel to the day I met you, to our first kiss, to our first date, to the first time you held my hand, I wish I could time travel to the sight of you. I wish I could stop crying, I so deeply wish and pray to stop loving you. And then I pray a little harder for you to love me back.

If today I died
I wouldn't be sad or mad
Void of life I doubt
I would feel at all
But surprisingly I'm ready
Not to end life as I know it
But if it were over
I might actually feel glad
Glad that feeling is no longer a necessity
Feeling love or any other pain monger
If love is the cause
Pain is almost always guaranteed to be the effect
When there's no more joy in feeling
What's the point of living
So yes I'm ready
To let go of pain
And all things leading to it
True I haven't accomplished much
And definitely not everything I wanted
But what's the point in trying
When the simplest of feelings
Seems to always remain unattainable
And being happy feels more like a facade or job
Than a blessed emotion