Oozing charm and fluency, over exuberantly, without vanity or pride or an arrogance of mind
remaining humble and kind
looking just fine
Not with the fittest physic or perfect teeth, manicured hands drenched in gold leaf
Or a sharp suit and tie which underneath emptiness lies
But a beauty that shines bright like a beacon
signalling hardship, success, failure, determination
Strong and truthful
Unapologetically flawed
Lost youth and adult gains
Ageing memories and hunger pains
slight wrinkles, cheeks with dimples
passion,
it's quite simple
perfection is meaningless
It lacks personality and taste
Humility, humour and good grace
The hard times you stared point-blank in the face
However, on the other hand
It's like you're from another land
Im lost
In your perfect imperfections
Filters and airbrush aren't a true reflection
Of the life you've lived of the story you've told
When you've been weak when you've been bold
what made you happy or caused you stress
How you like to chill and rest
Or put your mind and body to the test
I want to see what makes you, you
I long to see it all
For its what makes you beautiful

Tell me am I love
or am I suffering
Am I stepping into the black
or into purity
So purity is white
and white is purity
Am I noticed for love
or projecting my suffering
hoping to be on stage
for all to see
Love is pure
Suffering is pure
Love is marred
as are flecks
pitting the whole
of suffering

i am the white noise of cicadas chirping
air conditioning chugging, a train on a track
but i don't want to be the sheep you count
i want to be the rising sun, the lawnmower,
the screeching birds that tear at your sheets
yelling wake up, wake up
we're running out of time

When did it become instinct to **** in my stomach when I speak
As if my words were something that needed to be contained
And my body ashamed
When did I start believing that being curvaceous
Meant I couldn't be vivacious
That I needed to hide
And lose my pride
As if my weight defined
Who I could be
And my tummy would remind
That that everyone could see
My imperfections
These are my confessions
I am self aware
I care
About others judgements
And the way that I am perceived
So I try to make adjustments
Yet I never succeed

She is flawed, yet she is kind.
She help others but she lies.
She is always ******* herself even when she always breaks.
That is what you might not see, and you
will not hear her asking for help.
You can feel that she is just not whole to begin with.

-HIY

17 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I understand the fact that I am not always easy to understand.
Loving me is complicated and maybe that’s the beauty of it all.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So I always thought that someone would be able to show me how.
“You’re not easy to love” are words I’ve heard too many times before.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but how long will you keep on looking?
I know that my smile is flawed and crooked but it’s worth the picture still.
Let me write my wrongs until I’m right within but where should I begin?
Walking through a graveyard littered with my ideas and thoughts.
Littered with my endeavours of trying to be someone worthy of your love.
You don’t believe in me so who am I to tell the world about our story?
Just another spoken-word poet from Pretoria trying to attain his glory.
These words are written with great effort but you never pay attention anyway.
You know that I’ve got hyperhidrosis but I try not to sweat the small stuff.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So I always thought that someone would be able to show me how.
“You’re not easy to love” are words I’ve heard too many times before.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but how long will people keep on looking?
I know that my smile is flawed and crooked but it’s worth the picture still.

Hi!
I’m pretty
Imperfect
I’m the chipped teacup
The blemishes on your face that never truly disappear
I’m the Breakup
You always remember  
You see
I’m the darkness right before a storm
On that cold, cold December
I’m the broken window during the month of March
The cold air that still creeps under your skin
Even though you’ve hugged yourself with layers of clothes
I’m the pain you feel within
I’m the gap in your teeth
The one you swear ruins your smile
And that’s why you never smile, you see
Because you swear it gives you anxiety once in awhile
I’m imperfect, you see
I’m like the earth
Damaged and full of holes, and hills that go up and down
But you see
I can change myself
I can be anything you want me to be
I can wear different clothes
I can change the style of my hair
I know I have an imperfect nose
Five thousand dollars is a small price to pay
For your definition of beauty
If only it’ll make you stay
That’s everything I hope I never say
As I steal glances of myself in mirrors
As I see all the imperfections in my face
You’ve called out every since you learned the word hate
Hi!
I’m a ****
At least that’s what you’ve heard
It makes me wonder if you have a brain in there
Or just a peanut
Because you allow other people to define me
Unfortunately for you
I’ve been raised ever since birth
That I should never apologize for being myself
And nobody can redefine my worth
You see
I refuse to hate myself
Just because you find it impossible to love yourself
I will always reach for more
Never for less
You see
We were not born to hate each other
And surely you must agree
And in case you haven’t noticed
It’s a lot less work to love
Than to hate
Because while you’re busy finding imperfections
To mock and to make fun of
I will forever love myself
Even in moments of weakness
Because your hatred will never determine my fate
Hi!
I’m human
I make countless mistakes
In this messed up thing we call life
I procrastinate on important things
And hope to someday be a wife
I want the American dream
I’m reaching for it as far as I can
Because each day I daydream
About waking up to the love of my life in a cozy home of my own
And I’m not a Monday person on a Friday
I’m happy and energetic
As if it’s my birthday
I’m forgiving and kind to those who deserve it
And I know this might sound cliche
But I’m the person you can call at 4 a.m
To talk you out of doing something you’ll regret
You see
I’m a friend to all who respect me
You see
I’m a dreamer, a sister, a student, a daughter, a cousin, and a friend
I’m even a liar
I’m a hop-er
Because I always hope for perfect endings
Even in inevitable situations
Because it’s a lot easier to hope for the best
Than to expect the worst
I’m writing this
Simply because there’s something stuck in me
That refuses to be quiet
And no, it cannot be dismissed
Hi!
I’m me
And I will never apologize for being just that

Sometimes when I stare into mirrors,
I see an array of illusions.
I have a hard time knowing if they're truths,
Or if they are delusions.

For example, sometimes I look and see gross skin,
But then someone will tell me I'm glowing.
I'll look into the glass and see nothing worthwhile,
Because my fat neck is showing.

Other times I will feel attractive,
As I stare into my own brown eyes,
Which I convince myself smolder,
Mocha orbs that are wise.

But then someone will point out a pimple,
And tell me I don't look that great.
I am starting to think illusions
Are all that make up my face.