it doesn't matter how smart I am
it doesn't matter that solve sudoku on the sand
it doesn't matter that the gears in my head turn constantly
it doesn't matter that I try to be as fair as I can be
it doesn't matter how hard I try
it doesn't matter that I know it's manly to cry
it doesn't matter that I have so many people who care about me
it doesn't matter that I need glasses to see
it doesn't matter that I go to the gym
it doesn't matter that I've technically never broken a limb
it doesn't matter that I've set up my life goals
it doesn't matter that I wear out my shoes until there's holes in the soles
it doesn't matter that I don't believe in a god
it doesn't matter that I don't know a guy named Todd
it doesn't matter that I like grapes
it doesn't matter that ripped paper gets taped
it doesn't matter if I'm in love
it doesn't matter that I saw a pretty dove
it doesn't matter that I got hit by a car
it doesn't matter that a 3 hour time difference seems far
nothing matters to you
nothing matters to sue
nothing matters to me
nothing matters so there's nothing to see
there is no outside as long as you are trying to get out
you want to find an exit but you will begin to doubt
they tell you it's there and that you just need to find it
but it's much easier to just sit
enjoy the fleeting moments of sanity
WARNING! they may or may not be filled with vanity
watch as your world is turned upside down
wonderland, you have found
yes Alice made it out
but she was young and knew not to pout
maybe we are all a little mad
that's why we're all a little sad
or stuck in our minds
chained up or restrained by binds
there is a door
somewhere past all the horror
but we cannot see it
we create the maze where we sit
we keep ourselves from the door
because to leave would truly take our sanity forevermore

I wear my skin like a black shining armour
protecting myself from the scars left by you not letting anyone see,
holding secrets within me
leaving your mind to wander,
masking my pain
to reveal a perfectly imperfect me!!

you are the intruder
and i am the door
you have grabbed me
grabbed my handle and clutched it
i can not escape you
i have failed my job as the barrier
because you own my key
you are not afraid to pull me open
and walk right in
explore my insides
the floors creak, walk slowly
the faucets are leaking
i cant keep you out
i dont want to
you have found beauty in my imperfections

I may not be perfect , nor will I ever be
but I am ok with being imperfect
because no matter what imperfections I may hold
someone will find all my flaws
that are portrayed as Gold

why do I
feel like there is nothing for me
never any happy days
or acceptance or praise
just the heavy burden of feeling imperfect
and failing to please a stranger
the stranger being society
and its impossible to reach standards