We're inadequate
and imperfect souls seeking
Love in a flawed world

You think I'm perfect.
I know that I'm not.
I hope you're starting to see it too.
Can you see them now,
All my demons and monsters?
They're a little shy,
So they hide at first.
But every so often,
I get into a fight
With my parents
Or sometimes a friend,
And those ugly little things
Make their first appearance.
They hold my heart captive,
Use it to control my mind.
They tear me to shreds,
And I let them.
Because if I don't,
They'll find a new victim.
And I'd rather they hurt me,
Than someone I love.

Was the foundation not good enough,
The make-up not strong enough,
To hide what I’d been going through?
Were the bruises too large,
The cuts too deep,
To ever possibly conceal?
Was my mask of happiness too thin,
My cheerful voice too fake,
To convince them of my stability?
I knew it was all for naught,
Yet I hoped I could stay strong.
I knew nothing would protect me,
From this world where I don’t belong.
Their accusing looks, their quiet gasps,
Were enough to tell me what their hearts contained.
I’m broken, imperfect, and selfish;
And they knew.

I don’t understand,
What I can’t stand
Is you on the line
Of being blind,
Because what you can’t see
Is what I take a knee for
Because you’re a ***** for attention,
But what about the people who have depression,
Where’s their attention,
We’re filled regression,
But no retention,

I can’t stand it when you put me down,
Because all I see are frowns,
Because of the clown you are,
I wish i was far,
Far from you,
Because you’re not true,
True to me or you,

I can’t take my life,
Because I have to live with the strife,
Strife of pain without gain,
Glory with no story,
But the reason I’m still alive,
Is not because of you,
But because you know who,
My sister,
She’s leaves me a blister,
A blister of the mighty love,
Which you have none of,
Sorry, but that’s just how it is honey!

Guy One liked thick girls.
But I didn’t have curves so I started
Doing squats
Lunges
Barbells
When I would take a picture I would cringe
At the flatness of my ***
The thinness of my thighs
The sparseness of my arms.

Guy Two liked skinny girls.
And I had gained some weight so I started
Eating less
Running the treadmill
Pretending drinks were meals
I would stare at the toilet bowl and cringe
At the rolls in my stomach
The bulge above my jean hem
The loose skin below my chin.

I like strong girls
Who look in the mirror and smile
At their curves and dips
The stretch marks and bones
The freckles, the dark circles, the dry patches–

My body is a sanctuary
And if you don’t like it
Then *******.

He was never on time
And made poor excuses
Melodramatic
And made terrible jokes

He’d get carried away
*** wasn’t the greatest.
He had zero filter
Blamed others for mistakes

He never bought flowers
Never opened a door
He’d sweat profusely
And forget my requests.

And yet still I loved him
With his ****** quirks.
Imperfectly perfect,
Or simply– a ****?

I have never wanted anything so bad
I've never felt this before
I would throw away everything else
If you would take me back once more

I promise I will make you happy
I swear I'll try my best
I will do whatever you say as long
As you let me rest my head on your chest

If you wrap your arms around me
I believe fear I can confront
No matter what it takes, I will be the girl
you need instead of one you don't want

The worst type of pain is the kind
that whispers "you'll never be the same."
Keeps you wide awake at night
Convinces you that you are to blame

If I could be more like you
Maybe you would love me like you did
See me for the person I am
Instead of a little kid

Part of me will always be
In love with who you were
My arms are open in case
You discover it's me you would prefer

I hope someday you realize
There are a lot of ******* out there
I'm not like other girls here
And you're going to find out that's rare

Right now I might be "immature",
Insecure, too easily upset
At least I don't give up on people
I love if they're not perfect yet.