Once I thought that I might be
your everything, your missing piece.
Now I believe I am for you
both far too much, while also not enough.

I still wonder, if I had truly fit you
would you fit me, too?
or would I come up empty
still preferring my own company
(as I do now, in this path I’ve followed)

My wondering still misses
those maybe might-have-been’s
with you
the unknown
captivates

I haven’t even loved anyone since you
I used others to try and feel better
Maybe if I try I will love them
And I never truly did, I think
(I don’t even know anymore)
I’m cruel and heartless, truly
using others to try and pull away from you
so just try and forget it.
you know you can’t.
You were even aesthetically pleasing when paired with me
first in many things, you and yours were my people
i can’t believe i still write about you
think about you
care about you
Love you
are you like a brother? or are you like a lover?
either way, you were the closest to me
Even today I’m still trying to pick the bits of you out of the most of me
where does your influence end and my life begin?
I can’t let myself date someone else until i feel a love for them, a real kind of love
(like the one i feel for you)
I’m still waiting to feel
using others to try and fill in the gaps doesn’t work, but for some reason i still want to do it

I would make it home for you
I would BE Home for you
Not just “would be”
don’t you see?
I AM for you…
i want to be your
comfort, constant, safe, release
through the changes.
yes, i too fear change…
see? …our fears are held
warm in the palm of my hand
soft your skin, soft your lips
warm to the touch of my hand…
safe, home, calm, held,
Loved
Home
WE are home

I miss your voice
and that stupid laugh

So many coincidences
so many signs
I wish you were here
with your lips against mine

6-25-25   1:56pm

I'll see your favorite number
and the moon will look back at me
the barista saying your name
or our song coming on the radio

maybe it's the univer playing tricks on me
who knows
either or
you're still all I think about

she’s standing next to me
the riffs crawl slowly
under her skin,
tunes reaching
something long buried
within.

the sky thickens
with sentient air —
as if we’re sitting
in a drive-through
watching us on the screen.

even the town
is under her spell,
its nightlife dimmed,
and out of the way.

she smells like
imponderable winter air.
with a glance,
she lifts me up
and breaks me
in one breath.

her eyes —
the sea after storm.
my gaze drifts
to her mouth.
her words linger,
honey-crumbed,
after a bite.

a phone chimes —
mine.
i know
i have to go.

‘find your way back to me,’
i think.
i hope.

my heart aches,
she feels it, too.
i’m not ready
to say goodbye.

but i do.

When iam alone
I let myself believe
Just for a moment
That he misses me too
That maybe he thinks of me
When the sky turns soft
And the world slows down.

Bt it's not real
It's just me
Doing all the loving
In my thoughts.

if i told you i missed you 5.19.25 (7:13 pm)
love is really just knowing
isn’t it?
love is really just sitting next to each other
without even asking
love is just holding hands in hallways
the nice kind of silence
love is just sitting together and talking and talking
love is never getting tired of someone else

if i told you i missed all that
what would you do?
if i told you i missed you
would you come back?