"are you okay?"
she stares with a piercing shine in her eyes
heartbeat starts beating fast
look around
blackness surrounds me
I'm going down
words are rushing through my head like a river
thoughts in my head
but...
can't turn into any which word in the
shuffled dictionary that was my mind
It had felt as though my throat had been cut open then had salt shoved in the deep ****** wound
I was not ok
But how do I tell a human being that could never understand the capacity of what I felt into simpler words
Words that were like poetry to the mind of an ordinary person as words to a poet
How could I possibly explain that
Anger was fire ants crawling under my skin
Sadness wasn’t just a tear or two it was a deep hole caving my chest in letting my organs be exposed
Anxiety was my stomach being tied into a constrictor knot on my ribs and lungs and chest making it hard for one to breathe as though you were breathing through a capri sun straw
How could I possibly explain that the emotions I feel are more than just emotional
They are physical
How do I make someone who has never felt the exact way I feel without word vomiting all over them
Leaving them overwhelmed with words that could possibly never be understood
“Yes, I’m fine.”

Just rot me
I know im the only one who got me
I am the only one who can stop me
Do i want to am i even worth it ?
I never said i was perfect
Im just trying to keep it working.
But its flopin
This type of feeling rarely arise's but when it does man does it got me
Thinking bad things someone stop it
My mind just keeps thinking no stopping
Its not working i want off this bad train called my brain. Till im nothing but a stain in your mind. Till the only time i pop in your mind is a once upon a time. But trust im fine...oh No im fine

"I'm fine," I smile.
dyeing a little as I say those words,
"I'm sorry did that hurt?"
No I'm fine.
"Are you okay if I leave you alone?"
yes, don't worry about me,
"I'm fine."
It may seem that I am lying to others,
but I'm really only lying to myself,
trying to deceive my brain,
my heart,
my soul,
that there's is no pain.

"Its okay, your fine."

I ask you if you are okay
I can see the pain
You hide in your eyes
But all you say is "I'm fine"
But the truth is
I know you are not fine
Why can't you tell me
What is wrong
I can't stand watching you hurt
And feeling helpless because
I can't ******* help you
And stop trying to push me away
I want to be able to help you
But if you keep lying
Then I can't help you
So let's try this again
Are you okay?