I think that I am thick
Choosing a state of contentment
In a world of chaos
Chin high, eyes dry
I think that I am thick

I think that I am transparent
Knowing more of pain than of comfort
In a smog of darkness yearning for light
Depriving eyes of vital moisture
I think that I am transparent

Learning of God
Through love and unity
In friendship and fellowship
Faith in wise words and the eyes of the enlightened
Learning of God

Now understanding God
Through the death of my father
In the depths of my mother's sadness
Sadistic peers and malevolent neighbors
Now understanding God

I thought that to be poised was to appear stable
I thought that to have tenacity I must seem strong
Forbearing my feelings you are unable
But for keeping them to myself I was wrong
Crying is better

It’s always a battle with you
I try to stand up, and you’re always there to kick me down again
You beat me down and I just lie there and take it
A right swing to my body image, an uppercut to my confidence

I’m never allowed to be happy
And God forbid I feel beautiful for once
You make me out to be this obnoxious person that nobody can stand
But I don’t see you with any friends, and no one’s coming to your defense

You tell me that I annoy all my friends and they’ll all betray me
Yet you never fail to be first in line for taking a swing at me
Always whispering in my ear and telling me that nobody has ever really liked me
But you have always been the first to bash me for being who I am

Maybe I’m really not all that bad
Maybe I’m really ******* fantastic
And maybe you’re just scared that I’ll figure it out and you’ll be forgotten
Because you’re nothing but an irrelevant voice constantly fighting to keep itself heard

You are the voice of my anxiety
You exist because I do
And without me, you are nothing
But without you, I can be happy

I am all you have
I give your voice life and I give it meaning
You are nothing but what I allow you to be
You say I’m nothing, but you are nothing without me