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They say it's nothing
Just a cold
Bt why do I feel
Like the world
Is sitting on my chest.

I try to rest
Bt the night presses too close
And my back aches
Like it's holding a sorrow
It doesn't understand.

It's just cold
Bt it hurts
In ways I can't explain.
Lizzie Bevis Jun 19
When I was small,  
your hand held mine,  
in a father’s grip,  
both firm and kind.  
I’d look up in awe
at your towering frame,  
your proud stance unwavering.
I'd like to think that I was a good girl
who obeyed the rules,
because your voice was profound,  
grounding my feet
onto the solid ground.

Through my childhood,  
long HGV trips were the norm,  
and I listened for the latch  
on the garden gate,
as I waited patiently  
for your return.  
I remember how you were
so regimented and set in your ways,  
but your love shone through  
in those distant days.  
I felt relief as years passed,
your strict edges softened,  
into acceptance at last.

Now time’s cogs have turned,  
our roles have reversed,
and life writes for us  
in a different verse.  
Once you strode  
with a confident pace,  
but a Zimmer frame  
now takes that place.  
Your hands, once strong,  
are fragile and sore,  
stiffened by time,  
yet still they endure.

I see the warrior’s spirit  
that still burns inside you,  
as cancer battles loom,  
you strive to push through.  
Where once you led  
with a mighty stride,  
it is now my turn  
to care and guide.  
My strength is yours  
as we walk a little slower these days
with me still by your side.

©️Lizzie Bevis
My Dad has been in hospital over the past few weeks following a series of falls.
Sadly, this lead to a diagnosis of advanced cancer throughout my dads body.
My Dad was always a proud and stubborn man,
thankfully he has mellowed a little in his twilight years.
I am glad that I am able to help him to feel comfortable and cared for.

I know what is to come...and it will be tough.
Viktoriia Jun 13
there's an anchor weighing me down.
it won't let me change the course,
but it also won't let me drown.
it makes sure that the water stagnates
as rust compromises the fuel tanks.
losing buoyancy at a rising rate,
somehow staying afloat just to spite me.
i should find the leak and ignite it,
i should let someone else decide now,
but i've been patching holes in the hull.
some would call it a waste of time,
i guess i'm not ready to drown yet.
EMPstrike Jun 10
I have no reason why,
The selfish, in vain, take hold
Of a hope that cannot die,
It’s really getting old

But letting go doesn’t seem to be
In the cards, i can’t play it
On the tip of a thought,
An answer, i can’t say it

And the limits imposed
by the lack of understanding
Makes acceptance the course
And of course, I’m not accepting

Struggling in vain, there’s no other way
Can i at least believe they know i remember.
Nothing i could do
but to Watch, and to pray
Until returning our bodies to clay

I try too hard somehow, without ever even trying
Fruitless is the hand offering semblance to the dying
The greatest minds can't find the cure
What offer could i proffer here
That wouldn't requisite a dejected tear...

In vain, or in vanity
Selfishness or insanity?
No control over desire to
Defeat this infirmity

Should be left to the learned
It's hard to trust the tried.
I couldn’t agree more
On nights like tonight.
Spring came and went quickly this year,
a brief headache as the air
pressure shifted and then
the sun came in. And then
the Summer came in.
Too hot and too dry. Too busy.
The hustle and bustle of
sweaty people who wear too
little and talk too much.
This season is no good
This season is no good at all.

It will be a bad day today.
A bad week perhaps.
A bad month. Too hot and
too dry. Demanding.
Taxing. The machines
not working, the people
not stopping. Hate. Hate. Hate.
It is ungodly how much hate
one can feel towards the
changing of the skies,
and all who abide by it.
Hate in the nanoangatrom,
unequal to one one-billionth.

There is no season shorter than Summer,
not here. Spring and Autumn
stagger themselves: a birth
and a death, spread out across
two months or more.
And Winter lingers, clings;
it doesn’t easily let go.
Summer is Summer once
and then it’s done.
Summer is Summer for a day
a week, a month,
and then it’s not.
And yet it stretches.
An eon, an age,
eternal, hot and dry,
unable to sleep; unable
to stay awake,
a sort of purgatory –
long days and short nights.
No end. No end. No end.

And so, wait, a day, a week,
a month, on and
on, over and over,
until around comes Autumn.
The leaves browning,
the blossoms falling.
A decay that spreads,
the beautiful kind:
soft on the eyes,
on the soul. Breathable.
A breathable decay.
October again; slow, calm.
Blossoms falling. Slow. Slow.

And a thought, soft
like the growing clouds and
the promise of snow,
a thought that lingers, that
fades in, that leaves a stain:
    if today is not a good day
    then make it one.
The trees are bare now, there’s
room for more. Room
for you, to hang
and dangle, snap and
crumple, to drift gently down
like falling blossom slowly
into a heap on the ground,
buried in pink or white,
buried in the death of Summer,
in the death of Spring.
Mariah May 26
I love
I hate
I yearn
I ache

The pain
The chase
Eyes and ears and taste

The hands
That shake
Making love to my mistakes

Regret
Remorse
Embracing my own corpse

Change
Sorrow
Waiting for tomorrow

Paranoia
Trust
Drenched in pixie dust

Manic
Placid
The future's dipped in acid

Hope
Unrest
Bricks inside my chest

Friction
Freedom
Lies that I believe in

Tears
Laughter
Curate my own disaster

Chalk
Frost
Skin made up of moss

Tide
Concrete
Death before retreat

Time
Space
Stuffed inside a case

Fraud
Truth
The difference between the two

"I'm fine"
It's true
And if you actually knew
What could you even do?
I'm sick. I'm sad. Thank god.
Alfira N May 25
there is a small planet in my belly
mysterious and silent
I wiped my tears and ignored it
then walk the crowd like a normal school girl

there are people who demand me something
that only God can give
lexi May 19
I want to be happy
I really try
but my brain has a chemical imbalance
something that can never be truly fixed
I'm chemically ill
this illness isn't the kind that makes you throw up or be congested
this illness makes you sleep and lose your appetite
it makes you stay in bed with nothing to do
it makes you weak and tired and achy from staying in bed constantly.
when I am happy it's almost uncomfortable
its as if happiness just isn't for me
I find comfort in this illness in knowing that's how I'll be forever
I find comfort in the fact that it will never change.
Hello Daisies May 17
Life has always been lonely for me
Life has always seemed impossible
to breathe
I recall many nights
crying my own body weight
praying to be taken away
Never wanting to be in this place
I've seen torment
I've been torment
I've seen screams
and dying souls
I can never seem to let go
Let go of fear
let go of pain
let go of it all

Though I've tried
many nights off to die
fly straight into the moon
because it's all I knew
The only friend I had
my spirit tortured and twisted
nobody ever around to listen
desiccating into the ground
Never dare to make a sound

Life now can feel similar
The days pass me by
I lay down and I cry
My soul becomes intertwined
with the cruel torment of my mind
How can I leave it all behind?
new fears new screams
I feel my spirit failing
but
I'm not alone
No not anymore

I had the moon before
and this time
I have you
I can't forget
all that you do
it's surreal to believe
but it's amazing to conceive
I have you
and you have me

The world is just as cruel as before
but this time I'm not alone behind closed doors
I have your warmth
I have your love
everyday
in every way
we are
alive and okay
Which is more than I ever used to say

The way you hold me
The way I feel
ethereal
simply under a tree
or my head on your shoulder
It's in the eye of the beholder
and I can't wait to see your beauty
everyday as I get older

When I cry myself to sleep
When I get sick and only weep
I used to be crawling within me
and only me
but now there's you
I don't have to come undo
I don't have to talk to the walls

With you I can have it all
all of everything that matters
red and pink color splatters
when the demons come to crawl
I know you'll be there dancing with me
at every ball
at every wedding hall

A dream so surreal
yet here it is
it's real
You and I
Me and you
Life was always gloom
but you bring the sun and the moon
to my bed
and lay me softly to rest
next to you
in your warmth
I'll never come undo
idk
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