A thunderclap.
Rain follows.
A sound like rot
slaps from your hollow chest.

Commuters meerkat,
as you challenge
the Silence.
Prunes for faces,
fleeing you.
Peeling from your presence.

Does it betray you?
An unspoken wall.

I hope you washed your hands.

just a young heart confusing my mind
im confused or am i blind
challenge whipsers
im dead inside?
everything i do
is a waste to your time

ill try
ill try
ill try till my bones die
to further more my love will
ignite my heart so.  

if i cry every night will the end
accept me, beneath me is under
the heart you swore you'd lend me.

im swollen from the hits you gave me,
metaphorically.
will you accept me.

Windy sunny funny days in hurry
In my home I dine and slept in merry
One day from blue landed on my terrace
Lonely dove came ill and still to scare us.

Not a vet to consult in this dark time
Like a drunkard tripping falling at times
When I lend my helping hand for his lift
Angry murmur heard I while he makeshift.

Like a waiter waited with his grand food
Not a stir or happy face my guest stood
No grain no drink he made for four long days
Little dove saint kept on barring my prays.

Prying peeping praying for his prime life
Hearing, stretching wings he fly heaven safe.

Awaking from my self-induced daze
I wasn’t careful
Too much wine
Not enough food
Not enough water
And to my stupid surprise
My head aches
I feel ill
I just want to lay in bed
Part of me is begging not to do it again
But another is begging for more

Depression crawls into my head
I try to lie down
To quiet the chaos
It gets louder
Demanding to be noticed
My stomach turns
My head aches
My hand reaches for the blade....
I don’t want new scars
I do not want new scars
I DO NOT

It is only right
That you should venture out
To pursue the higher mountain,
But how I will miss you
In climbing my own.

and for a second i remembered why i fell in love with you all those years ago
it wasn’t just the laugh or the way your eyes lingered for a half a second too long but the way you made me feel in your presence,
like there was nothing else in the world that could draw your attention from my words.
but then i remembered, the temper, the walls, the vast insecurities that strangled you at night, and i remembered why i moved on,
you could never love me the way you loved being lost and i knew
i could never find you.

maybe i’ll throw up again