Today, a years-long claim got denied — again.
I have been fighting the veterans affairs office
for too much of my life.
Sitting here at a job that brings me nothing, I silently weep
inside about the battle that I have to continue fighting.
At my work bench, surrounded by strangers to my struggles
I’m transported back to my first encounter
with the hellish reality of life in the Marines.
His cries for help rip me out of my bunk.
With his arms locked, under the boys armpits and across his chest,
he drags him out from the squad bay bathroom.
We’ve been in basic training only two weeks now.
Fresh out of high school,
our friends haven’t even left for college yet.
Blood sprays from his neck.
He’s laid on the ground, and my hands, like bandages,
are around him now trying to keep his life inside of him.
I never knew how hot freshly spilled blood was.
I close my eyes, and pray someone will come save him
and me.
I was only 18
and so was he.

                                        Hands, covered in life
                              It’s lost warmth — searing my skin
                                        Save me from this hell

Hurting people is easy.

like throwing a *Rock

into a still pond

the glass *-breaks-

r i p p l e s

and
                             down

              sinks
                                  the
                 *Rock*


but...

youll never know.

                                             how deep it went.

When you were a kid, you had a favorite toy.
Be it a doll, a tiny truck, a car, a stuffy.
You did have one.

While you had one,
I was one.

I was played with.
Fed upon.
Made to be used and abused

Isn't it funny?
How some people are like like kids,
and Others are more like their pretty, little, shiny, toys.

"Oh mommy!" He would cry
"She is so pretty"
"So Cute"
"so wet..."

Malicious


I am not a toy
I am a real person
I am real

am I?

Attachment tear you from inside,
Leaves your heart nowhere to hide.
Introverted, deeply twisted within,
Lonely yet fine, a world kept thin.

Used by people, trusted in vain,
Sadness flows, but not like pain.
Loneliness, a silent, constant friend,
Attachment breaks what time won’t mend.

It cuts you deep, it takes so long,
To heal, to move, to feel strong.
One person can turn your world to gray,
Their absence, a shadow that won’t stray.

You think of them, though they don’t care,
Their indifference more than you can bear.
Trying and trying, you seek to let go,
Yet thoughts of them forever flow.

Why obsess when the future’s bleak?
Their apathy shows the truth you seek.
I wish to be cold, unfeeling, free,
Yet attachment keeps imprisoning me.

Yet in this pain, a truth I find,
To love myself, to clear my mind.
Attachment tears you from inside,
But healing mends what’s pushed aside.

Struggling in school everyday,
Feeling like I'm behind.
Struggling with basic math,
teachers making fun of me.
Hurting deep,
Not receiving any support I need.
Why does my brain work differently?
Teachers, students bullying me,
Is it my fault?

The pain runs deep,
With no one to understand.
Why does my brain work in ways they can't see?
Am I broken? Am I stupid?

Laughter echoes when I stumble,
Words like knives, they cut me thin.
I wonder, is this my fault?

Students, teachers bullying me,
How long will it last?