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He holds your hand but not your heart.
He whispers dreams but stands apart.
He wants your light, your steady flame.
But flinches at the thought of your name.

He tastes the feast, but pays no price.
He basks in warmth but fears the ice.
He builds a house of maybe, might—
But never dares to make it right.

You are not a halfway home.
Not a bench while he still roams.
You are not a season’s fling.
You are the whole, eternal spring.

So let him drift, let cowards flee,
You’re not a choice —you’re destiny.
No more auditions for your soul:
You’re made for love that's fierce and whole.

Hilfamous✍🏻
I wrote this after someone who has come to be important to me made one statement... He said, and I quote,
"Do you still want me, a guy who won't commit but wants you nonetheless?"

I really am not sure how to feel.
The space between us used to hum,
A symphony of whispered fun,
Now silence sits, a heavy guest,
Where laughter flowed, and joy was blessed.

We built a world, a vibrant hue,
Shared dreams that felt forever true,
Now tinted gray, the colors fade,
A memory of promises made.

Remember nights beneath the stars,
Secrets shared, behind life's bars,
Each other's anchor, strong and deep,
Secrets that now we softly keep.

A simple glance could say it all,
Before the rise, before the fall,
Now eyes avoid, a painful game,
Where neither whispers out the name,

Of what we lost, or let erode,
A bond we carried on the road,
The road of life, with twists and turns,
Where fire flickered, slowly burns.

No angry words, no shouting cries,
Just quiet tears behind our eyes,
A gentle drift, a silent pull,
Leaving hearts heavy, spirits dull.

We walk on eggshells, light and slow,
Afraid to ask, afraid to know,
The reason why, the where and when,
Our story fractured, not again.

But here we stand, on opposite sides,
Where comfort once securely hides,
A hollow echo, faint and weak,
Words left unspoken, we can't speak.

The distance grows with every day,
As feelings silently decay,
A chasm forms, a widening tear,
Leaving only emptiness to fear.

Perhaps someday, the ice will thaw,
And understanding we will draw,
But until then, we both must bear,
This weight of silence, in the air.

Two souls adrift, no longer near,
Haunted by what once was clear,
The unspoken truth, a constant sting,
The end of everything.
Empty halls, a vacant stare,
Lost in shadows, filled with despair.
Teenage years, a twisted game,
Chasing highs, ignoring the blame.

Whispers echo, a haunting sound,
As friendships crumble, and futures drown.
Bottles clink, and pills descend,
A downward spiral, without end.

The classroom fades, a distant shore,
As addiction's grip tightens more.
Rules are broken, trust betrayed,
A life unraveling, slowly decayed.

Expulsion looms, a heavy blow,
Shattered dreams, where do they go?
A path uncertain, filled with dread,
A future stolen, a life misled.

The taste of freedom, now turns sour,
Lost potential, losing power.
Regret lingers, a bitter sting,
A wasted youth, on broken wing.
Kyla 5d
I confuse lust for love
Mistranslating tight holds and neck kisses as signs he chose me
That he wants me, not just wants me
My lust, i just want your love
all the lords shut silent in worry
as the sky fall, how did i started it

i hike the stairs just to feel my heart race
never felt more alone, now i know it

you don’t wanna care, bye
said you’re gonna come, lie
it’s my own fight, right
caught in the storm, died

was it guilt that turned your mighty face
wanna clean your hands, hate me instead
thanks
thanks for everything

all these dark emotions unlocked
at least i let this anger out
they said i was fool for accepting
it’s fine i learned and healing
The first time he saw me
He saw a kaleidoscope of colors
A rainbow of light
He says I am divinity
His angel
Sent from above
For him and him only
He says how he needs me
Oh, he needs me
I hear him when he tells me
I am his saving grace
I will be his salvation
making him stronger
I am all he desires
He says my vibrance will help him grow
He will live for me
For eternity
He loves me
keeps me
holds me so tight
He uses me
He abuses me
My pain brings him colors and light
He says I shine brighter
with every tear I shed
He wants a whole rainbow
He wants a picture book
A movie in color
He wants to paint the world with my hues
He holds me tighter
He pulls my hair
The more pain I feel
The more brightness he sees
The more strength he receives
The colors become droplets
Puddles
Then rivers
And lakes
He loves me so deeply
He knows I'm his to take
His hands move seductively up my body
Trying to find new shades to add to his palette


Red
His hands clench my throat

Orange
Rougher

Yellow
And tighter

Green
He squeezes so hard

Blue
Crushes completely

Purple
I crumble to the floor

Once he sees that I have broken
He gets on his knees
He slurps the puddles of sorrow from the floor
Little pips
and tiny pops
He follows
Drinking in the rainbow stream
A splat and a plop
a bit of a boggle
He sputters out sparkle
shimmer
And glitter
He begins to bulge
belly squiggling
As his throat widens
He parts his lips

What comes out is a
Hiss.
I was there all the time, while you were gone
One day you were there, the next day, gone
Everything was going good
So I never understood what went wrong
I never understood what I did so wrong
Because one day you were there
And the next day; bright, and early, gone
I never understood how another girl
Became your "number one"
Things started to turn south
When I noticed you were gone more
You'd make sure you were always quiet
When you managed to make your way home
And came through the door
Quiet as can be, so you didn't wake me up
Because you didn't want me to know
That you were actually out after work
With some girl who had a baby
Which made you look like a creep
How could you hit me below the belt, so deep?
You went and wandered the streets
Looking for someone else to satisfy
You and your petty selfish needs
You were playing house with someone else
Giving someone else the attention I was supposed to get
Not even caring to ask how I even felt
You hit me in the face one, slapped rather
That was a one time thing, not a big deal or matter
Because you hit me in front of my mother
And she told you point blank
"If you're going to hit my daughter;
You need to take a breath and really think"
And then I chimed in with;
"It's okay because if he ever tries or does it again;
I'll go to jail for breaking his **** hand."
The audacity this fool think he had
Cheated on me because I can't have kids
And he apparently wanted to be a dad
All you had to do was say something to me
That's something I would have come to understand
But instead you became unfaithful and left me sad
I really had feelings for you because I became obsessed
Starting going to work with you
And sitting in your vehicle for 8-12 hours like I was possessed
You drove me so crazy I didn't know what else to do
Then one day it all became clear
I wasn't needed anymore here
So I left, and never looked back.

Stephanie A. Ludwig
04/25/2025
part of the series
I told the doctor
my heart felt like a flip phone
set to vibrate
in the back pocket of my jeans—
buzzing between spine
and tenth-grade desk,
shaking my bones
like a train no one saw coming—
except me.

I could feel my pulse
gathering its coat, like it had somewhere to be.
He said I was within diagnostic range.
He said I was presenting as stable.

I said I felt like a girl
screaming
inside a library.

They said:
What a beautiful metaphor.
I said:
It’s not a metaphor.
It’s a girl.
She’s in there.
She’s still screaming.

And they nodded,
said I seemed self-aware—
like that settles that.

They wrote “no cause for concern”
in my file.
The room was quiet.
The library was loud.

My heart is still vibrating.
I feel it—
right there, between spine and desk.

No one picks up.
Lizzie 5d
A stranger who doesn’t fit anywhere on Earth
Something about her skin
Too dark to be white
Not dark enough to be her heritage.

A girl whose skin is too light
Her hair not black enough
A girl wearing American clothes
Living the American way.

Little mixed girl
Who doesn’t even speak the language
Of her grandfather

Fake little mixed girl
Who talks about being Indian
To actually feel connected
To her culture

Yet, she knows it’s a lie
She doesn’t celebrate Diwali.
She doesn’t know traditions

Little mixed girl
Who isn’t ethnic enough
To get offended over slurs

Fake little mixed girl
Who knows her ancestors
Look down upon her
Whitewashed self
And feel nothing but shame.

Fake little mixed girl
Pretending to be something she’s not.
Kaiden 5d
Break this bond between me and earth,
Let me go forever underground,
Far, far away from the pain and hurtful words,
From the toxic embrace of your hate.
suicidal af rn
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