Isn’t this confusing?

To be a hopeless romantic

Searching for your twin flame

Curving the mundane

To find The one whom is equally yoked

I'm Lost and wandering

In what once was
familiar territory

But this open space has

Transformed itself into battle grounds

I'm sparring viciously for one's attention
Because there are women

That are willing to lose their identities

To faces with no name

And are often times too eager to spread
Fibia bones to avoid the vacancy in their beds

And then there's me;

Attracting men

That only latch onto women for therapy
Refusing to take responsibility for their own healing

Claiming a Queen as his property

Because he fails to have control over his own life

and i have learned how to adapt in this chaos
Forcing to close myself off

From the one thing I've wanted so badly

The thing about being a hopeless romantic is that you always have these words you want to say
But no one to say them to
Yet when you do, you freeze
Because suddenly your words aren't enough

You often have this idea of love
Whether its the cheesy kind or some elaborate version of your own design,
You get so in love with the picture in your mind
That you become blind to the perfect love thats already there

Hold on to love because it happens so fast
Hold on to love because some moments refuse to last

13 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I’m losing you but you aren’t even mine, you belong to someone else.
I assumed you’d have good intentions for me but that was my mistake.
I assumed; how reckless of me to have assumed the most positive of things.
I’m losing you but you aren’t even mine to love yet you’re always on my mind.
But how lost do I have to be in order for you to come and find me and love me wholeheartedly?
I wish people would never ask about my love life because it seems like I could never love or be loved right.
I need peace of mind before my mind ends up in pieces because I can no longer stand being alone.
I should’ve just left you alone; I shouldn’t have turned your heart into a home.
I looked for love in all the wrong places and fell in love with all the wrong faces.
Maybe in your quiet time at exactly the right time, you could possibly be mine to love wholeheartedly.
I finally understand it now; I’m a hopeless romantic who will always insist on remaining hopeful.

All I could see is a face of uncertainty
A poker face that has me curious
So serious and mysterious
I long for your presence
The best thing I can do is imagine your appearance
Killing these feelings are harder than anticipated
I yearn for your voice
I have no choice but to accept
What I desire
Is forbidden and must be hidden
That I must tame this fire
That has me engulfed in flames
Leaving me to be anguish
That we are no longer speaking the same language
And for that I can endure no more
So I will lay lifeless on this floor
And dream of a love that doesn’t ignore
This poor fool

When I imagine meeting the man I will marry
We are in a conversation with others
And someone says something
To which I reply
A quote from a movie
Off to the side
Too obscure for the average mind
And he would laugh
Or maybe say back
Another great line

How unfortunate how sad
It can't be considered a bad luck
A lightning has struck
Above my head, a rain that won't stop

I've accepted it, my fate
A story Im going to state
Its up to you, you can give me a rate
Misfortune that is just too great

I have this question in my mind
Though, I know I'm not kind
And the time isn't right
A true lover, why can't I find?

Well, I found you
But I know, I'm not meant for you
You are too good to be true
My chance to win you is too few

A man came across my sight
Suddenly my world stoped
I know, this isn't right
This feeling I can't fight.

He is so fair
Looks that are extremely rare
But for you, you don't care
All I can ever do is just stare.

I think the main problem is,
I always fall instantly in love,
without restraint or reservation,
like I’ve never been hurt before,

we throw caution to the wind,
then go all in with reckless abandon,
because we are on the ride of your life,
and we don’t want to go solo we’d rather ride tandem,

on a tangent,
writing lines as my emotions run rampant,
I’m in a parking lot somewhere outside of Denver,
on my laptop typing like it’ll make some kind of difference,

woke up,
on the wrong side of the bed,
welcomed back,
to Waking Life with a tightness in my chest,
and this relentless feeling,
of eternal loneliness that I can’t shake,
which has got me thinking,
maybe some souls can’t be saved,

and maybe that’s why I’m now sitting in my car,
with tears in my eyes and nowhere to drive,
because there’s nowhere I want to go,
other than back to the place where my love was denied,

the only place I want to go,
is back into the arms of the one that let me go,
but she’s so far gone that our memories seem like just dreams,
and I’m not dreaming I’m wide awake so,

I feel so far away from her,
and the tears start to flow,
and instead of take of my life I shake and write,
these words to show we all hurt and lose control,

and yeah I know I’ve got nothing really to complain about,
because I’ve got a great life and all that,
but knowing that my life is better than most of those in this world,
doesn’t really make me feel better in fact,
it makes me more depressed,
because it makes me wonder what hope we have left,
as the forests burn and the wars rage,
and the polar bears panic on constantly melting ice caps,

and I’m aware of all of these facts,
and maybe that’s why I’m in my car with tears in my lap,
lost with no motivation running out of time and patience,
can’t see a future can’t feel the present can’t remember the past,

oh what an unruly mess we’ve made,
how much longer could this all possibly last?

And despite all of this or maybe because of it,
I always fall instantly in love,
because it seems like love is the only thing that matters,
and the only thing that can save us from ourselves,

but maybe we need to fly in love instead of fall in love,
maybe then we can finally be liberated,
maybe if we just showed a bit more love to the world,
maybe then that love would be reciprocated,

so maybe love isn’t the problem,
maybe love is the solution,
maybe we need more reckless lovers not less,
loving without restraints or reservations,

even though 9 times out of 10,
it leads to heartbreak again,
but hey we’d rather express our love,
than try and hide it and pretend,
that we don’t feel anymore,
because we still feel we really do,
so find someone to love right now,
before everything is done & through,

and I still love you,

and maybe that’s why I think the main problem is,
that we always fall instantly in love,
without restraint or reservation,
like we’ve never been hurt before,

but that’s okay,
because I’d rather live one day,
in love,
than live in a lifetime of hate,

so go ahead,
fall instantly in love,
without restraint or reservation,
like you’ve never been hurt before…

∆ LaLux ∆