I think I killed the mundane,
growing up wishing to be saved.
I think I killed gentle gestures,
through teenage years, craving someone who cared.

I think I killed connection,
living through my twenties, not knowing who to trust.
I think I killed the mundane,
now I’m nearly thirty,
no closer to my fairytale than I was at fifteen

love is like a flame
it can make you warm
or it can burn you
love can caress you
or throw you to the wolves
love can find you your perfect match
or it can find you someone
who'll never give you their time of day

i want to find love
a love that is reciprocated
a love that is gentle and passionate
a love that picks me up
a love that is the one for me
who can laugh at my dumb jokes
who can see me for me
who can show me the good in the world

i always seem to find the love that hurts
a love that beats me down
a love that hates me for me
who only loves the idea of me

maybe this time will be different

yes you're my crush
yes you make me blush
i love your smile
i think about it for a while
i want to hear your laughter
please don't let this end in a disaster
wrap your arms around me
let the love run free
i'm falling head over heels
you got me weak in the knees
you're so weird and quirky
and I feel unworthy

you, serendipity
i didn't expect you
but you're the best birthday gift i've received all year
and mind you, my birthday's a long time from now.

i didn't know you've waited
since middle school, for this to all work out
but i'm glad you did
so glad you did

we officially met...maybe a week ago when you confessed
so then why do you make me feel like the one having the crush?
so many things i won't understand
but so many things i hope we'll figure out together, levi.

She is my snow in summertime
Everything I cant have
Everything I wish were mine
Only ever years ago
May I see a summers snow
Our kisses go long forgotten
By everyone but me
Love only exists
In books of history
Because even if it snows
Everyone knows
It doesn't last
so it must be,
Our stolen romance remains in the past.
And I must keep remembering
though memory brings me pain
i'm a ******* (just for this)
So I'll dance in summer rain

People warned me,

turned against me,

said I was a fool.



Yet you I trusted

but now that's busted.

Still my love overrules



And I don't wanna ****

something so divine.

Who knew I could have

so much love inside?

Even through all the suffering,

for you I’d still give anything.



You’ve turned my care into a curse,

my offer of aid into a disgrace.

You're always messing with my mind,

sabotaged all I tried to rebuild.



Now I lie in bed alone

clinging to all you left me.

I still look for your attention

and I have cried so much

over your wandering affection,

over how I miss your touch.

Tell me how can I move on

when I’ve loved you so wholly?



But I don't wanna ****

something so divine.

Highly doubt I could

even if I tried.

I’ve held on so tightly

though it’d suffocate me.

But even through all the suffering,

for you I would do anything.

1-8-25   8:05pm

every time you don't respond
i convince myself you're done

my mind
my worst enemy

do you still want this with me?
i might ask

have you met someone else?
is she wonderful?
what does she smell like?
does her laugh sound like the most wonderous
orchestra known to man


the feeling of love
and wanting to be loved
is so volatile
my own personal current
pushing out to sea

i accidentally fell asleep on a blanket in my backyard
the sun was warm, the sky was clear, and the ground wasn't too hard
when i woke up my husband was smiling at me
and in his arms was our beautiful baby
they both had glittering brown eyes
and i smiled back at them; i love my life.
the baby was laughing and everything was perfect
and suddenly, all the pain was worth it.
but then i woke up in the real world
i was not your wife, not even your girl.
it felt so real, but it was just a dream
will it ever become a reality?