Once again.
That dark cloud is back.
Larger than ever.


Just as I could see the sun.

Darkness:
Darkness was my pain
My rod, my staff, my cane
For darkness I became

Not for evil, power, or gain
Nor for lust of mighty reign
But because I held such disdain
For the things to which I am chained

From the sky it fell like rain
A dark and growing stain
Chilling my shredded veins
The source of all my shame

I keep my mouth closed,
using super glue like it's chapstick.
Lips sealed but hands free, writing my secrets into poetry,
I sometimes feel very cowardly only being able to share empty words about my empty feelings  to empty faces on this empty stage.
Empty.
I don’t cry as often as I should, maybe I’m just drained, maybe I’ve just emptied
The drain that connects my tear glands to the rest of my body.
And on the off chance I cry-
my pillow must have nightmares from my screams,
and sometimes- sometimes I hear my pillow sobbing with me.

Limitations of the human heart,
So fickle and feisty and miserable.
Like a coin with two-faces apart,
I flip it like a switch as I gamble.

Losing my warmth like I've died,
I kept on walking barefoot in the Arctic.
I've lost my senses and forgot how to walk,
I fell down and drowned in the cold.

Feelings of contentment, "I tried."
Feelings of madness, "It's chaotic!"
Feelings of hopelessness, "Aftershock..."
Feelings of warmth, "No!", I called.

I wanted to give up all hope,
Inhumane to every emotion,
All I wanted was to cope,
But love was a miserable affliction.

As I tread this path of harsh winds,
Guided by what seems to be light,
I fell down into the ice-cold ocean,
And as I drowned, it was warm afterall...