A poem a day keep insanity at bay!
or sanity at bay,
honestly either one goes.

You visited my sleep
Again last night
An after-image of our
Decayed friendship
You were a giant
Huge hands and feet
And you hid
In the back bathroom
Of my childhood home
The one with the yellow handles
And towel racks
That aren’t there anymore
And the real human skeleton
In the hay coloured wooden box
That’s long forgotten but still there
You weren’t seen in the dream
But I knew you were there
A bit like
In my waking life
Where
Not even the bones
Of our friendship
Survived

(Because unlike my parents
I keep no skeletons)

The flesh of our bond
Wounded too deeply
When you tried to pretend
I wasn’t there
Because it was convenient
Because you wanted what I had
And you were too cowardly
To seek it out with integrity
And honesty
Two qualities I thought
You really did have

Sometimes
I have
An imagined conversation
With you
I say all the things
I can’t say to you
I point out the moments
You’ve pushed out of your mind
The laugher
The thousands of texts
The ciders I bought you
Because you were poor
Running in the rain after work
Comforting you on Elizabeth street
When you said you’d never meet
Anyone, ever
And I remind you again
What I said on that walk

You will. You may even know him already.

I give you a look
In the scene, in my mind
And you
You can’t hold my gaze
Because you understand the irony
You know
That my loss
Was your gain
Then I say, what I want to
But what I can’t say to you

*You may have the trophy
But you didn’t really win
No matter how much you
Polish your prize
Your guilty face will
Always be reflected back at you
A gilded distortion
An ugly elongated shadow
Of your form
The same reflection
You’ll see in the sheen
Of your ring
But do you know what, Sophie?
I don’t need a surface to
Reflect anything back to me
Because old friend
I am free

Love me like there won't be tomorrow
As if we should have to end the sorrow
That now is the perfect time to be one
And make sure things won't be left undone

Love me like I am your beautiful flower
As if you have to be gentle and tender
That now is the perfect moment to feel
The longing to love, a feeling that's real

Love me like I am your true self
Not a book unnoticed in a very old shelf
That you really see me through your heart
And make sure you do not want me to depart

Love me for real, just love me honestly
For that is what I dream of you and me...

To you, my life is,
Or it is not, you aren't sure;
You really don't know.
So what am I really like?
And honestly, do you care?

when i see your name pop up on my phone
earth. stops.
i saw it today
from a ******* mile away
& if i'm being honest with you,
because i know you like it -
the thought
of you
thinking of me
reaching out to touch me
makes me *******
drip
with a heavy
need
for
you

Do you have any idea
What you have done to me?
Will you ever understand
That I'm no longer weak?

I'm the one you tossed aside
The one you didn't have time for
I needed help, but you were busy
How many times had this happened before?

You weren't the one I thought you were
And that makes a person change
I'm not the naive girl you knew
So stop treating me that way.

You don't make me cry or frown anymore
Frankly, I don't care
So stop getting all upset when we talk!
I'm fine, I solemnly swear!

But I am one to break promises
That's something I learned from you
No one is honest, no not one
But you don't have a clue.

Magic is in the air
When the delight spreads
But even then,
Febreeze doesn't do all it says.

I wanted you all the while
I was in love with someone else
But it was you who made me smile
And made my heart melt

But I didn’t want to be alone
And I knew our timing wasn’t right
So I settled for the thing I’d known
Ignoring thoughts of you that came at night

I shut off all those feelings
And told myself it was wrong
Ignoring that love should have no ceiling
And that I couldn’t live like that for long

And now I just want to tell you
How strongly that I feel
But I fear you won’t like the way I grew
And for real was not our deal