looked at you for too long
and then i realized
you are human, too

fallible
uncertain
flawed

piously pined for
palatial splendor i
placed in my dreams of you,
imperfect you

and it's no ones fault
a figure headed facade
fabricated by figments
of my frivolous imagination

put you on a pedestal
made you divine
made you holy

you, the ceiling
high above my head
and i, looking up
in the sistine chapel

untouchable
untarnished

couldn't see the cracks
beneath the varnish

then, close enough to study
a faint fresco with critical eyes
fantasy faded in the fault lines
of your frowning face

looked for too long
until i realized
you were just as broken as me

a collection of shattered pieces
shrouded and shy
once a shrine
now a shriek

wide eyes on you
a sinner, still
i called you sacred

ignoring the nature of
the irreverent, the profane

liked the luster
of longing lingering
on my lips
when i breathed your name

the veil torn
the truth beheld
and you are not god

gambling grief and
gleaming gloom
thought i could be
the sun to your moon

majesty to malignancy
momentarily merciful
moreover cruel

monstrous mr monsoon
after all, human, too

Do you know Jesus?
Only He is trustable
His Love is greatest

Where is the Messiah?

Are you there God?

It’s me, your pariah.


I’ve become something of a liar,

a mystifier, a cad, a fraud:

Where is the Messiah?


To deliver from brimstone and fire?

Against the one wielding the iron rod?

It’s me your pariah,


son of the dawn, prince of the nebula

the gates of Judecca have thawed.

Where is the Messiah?


I’ll take silver, like Judas and Delilah

their feet are swift; to shed blood.  

It's me, your pariah.


Your ***** for hire,

Oh, how I await the flood.

Where is the Messiah?

It’s me your pariah.

the timber of my wolf voice
scares me

i cannot back it up yet
i keep howling

i hear just words from lips
thought to be wise

my own voice included
in the nothing

what came before now
is imaginary

i know i am just here
i howl

Thy lips like golden pages of a sacred book are shining.
Thou art resplendent in gold;
I am shy in waves of pink.
Soften my sweet sap, soften my love for thee and let it be planted like a seed in the grounds.
With thy light may thou water my heart.
For thee I die, for thee I die.

this whole world is like a pit
by your side, i'll find a way

prosperin' in times of sadness
people are loaded with madness
questions in their eyes, a quest
by your side, i'll be blessed

lord, i wanna be good, so good
lord, i wanna die in the hood
baby, take a trip with me, soul dealin'
we were sick, now got feelings of healin'

don't get me wrong, don't tell it everybody
yet i'm not flawless, a human being, a body
lord, i wanna be good, so good
lord, i wanna die in the hood

lead me through the valley of my fear
lead me through the valley of my tears
o lord, holy almighty, you sent me milly
do i deserve her? am i worthy?

ya know me, a friend of forties, a slowie
fan of bowie, jeezy, straight up deezy
i don't respect the "i", but my woman
o lord, holy almighty, you sent me milly

the beginning of a journey, the winning
just the beginning, i'll be fightin' waterfalls
all in all, i'll crush the chinese wall to be
with you girl, not my new girl, but my true girl

funky like a whirlwind, my head is spinning
people waitin: what about him, ain't no sinnin'??
don't have to to do that, cause i am tru dat, so in it
my head is spinnin', lord i wanna be good

i wanna live and die in the hood, maybe in the woods
you sent me milly, this is not to be misunderstood
embers in her eyes, and a nice-hearted smile
lord, do i deserve her? am i worthy?

ya know me, a friend of forties, a blowie
o lord, holy almighty, please bless us...

Recreate... Re-create.

She told me that distraction is an art from vile thoughts, the ones that circle 'round, drag me down into the ***.

Recreate... Re-create.

Not distraction from the sort of thing that truly needs attention, but getting back to who I am, a spiritual ascension.

Place those wings upon my back, we all are holy creatures; show me what's inside your soul, the finest of all features.

If your demons drag you down, chain you up, and circle 'round,
Pull yourself up out the cauldron, fight and stand your ground.

'Cause in addition to holy talks is something that has power,
Re-create by recreating, and bloom your long lost inner flower.