a  September wind ruffles my hair
I step into a place I have long avoided
very few things have changed since the last time I was here
but the flowers have fallen and are stepped on

I am not sure why I visited
why I would even bother to talk at all
why I would go back where it is most painful
when I know what awaits me

it has been a year now but it doesn’t seem like it
there has been talk about another with your arm slung around her
but somehow I can’t imagine it
and I don’t want to know what it will be like to see you again

did it really happen?
the way it ended, was that real?
every single moment we fit like puzzle pieces
every single time we told each other everything
was that all in vain?

it has been a while
and I must admit that your name does not make me feel anything
but while I am being honest
I have to say that my hand remembers what it was like to hold you

because she will have to look into the same face I did
she would see all the things I used to love
she would be in the arms that I used to be in
she would know that things that I knew

I may not belong there anymore
but it was beautiful while it lasted
and I will not keep you from your happiness
as long as you promise

that even if you are with somebody else
you will not forget what it was like with me

Put your heart
on hold
take a break

Sometimes
it beats
for the
wrong
reason

forgive me
but i still think of him
while you hold me

Hold on to yourself
Nothing is as it seems
You simply can´t tell
What goes on behind the scenes

Hold on to someone
Who doesn't bring you down
and alone in front of everyone
Looking like a clown

I can't say I understand
No one really does
Let´s live in a dreamland
And break all the laws

Hold on to yourself
Don´t feel pressured to transform
You can't always tell
When your whole soul is gone

2. November 2017

I remember you     the way I want to,
without a photo     but from memory.