I see your bare collar bone.
The chassis of you.
Your shoulders stiff
from lifting too long.
Your ribs—tight—
holding in breath
to call out life.

I'm going to take you home.
It’s okay. No one will see.
We’ll hide it with a necktie,
drape it in my sleeves.
I’ll walk you there
with my ****** ache
and shoes worn thin
from leaving places too fast.

We should hurry.
My wrists are tired.
They shake from the inside.
My marrow is dusted with fear.
Osteoporosis, they said—
but it’s just a word
for how I’ve been crumbling
before anyone noticed.

I wanted to carry you.
But my bones—
they fold under me.
I have enough ache
just holding myself.
Still,
I want to take you home.
I will strip myself bare
beneath the sun if I must,
but I cannot let you
see my bones.

bite your tongue little one....
don't tell anyone your secrets not even your mom.
hold everything in because that's what you do.
there's no such thing as crying yourself to sleep at night
that's just a myth told by a stranger one....
the shadows aren't real your imagining them.
nothing lays behind the dark curtains blocking your view
I guarantee that to you.
don't run away that is not what we do
I'm telling you there's a light inside of you.
sticks and stones could break my bones but you will never know it.
hide away those scary thoughts for they are not your own.

Fail safes, like preventive measures;
What percentile are you willing to lose?
You will lose them all.
Don't arrest you family
To the error of your decisions,
Take my advice
And don't take anyone with you.

my arms are static
my legs are rocky air
my torso dips into
the skyward of mattress

I brought yesterday in my hands to set out in the sun
it didn’t take long to burn right up
my eyes trail the flecking ash in the air

there’s nothing i wish to hide

yet i sit like one car
parking lot tar matches the sky
at 3 am

is the static channel on the tv
still there when you turn off the screen

i think i see it when i close my eyes

streams of speech rolling out of me
filling up my room with feeling
swimming in our own dealings
was it equal?
was it real?
storms of chaos were brewing
filling up all my perception
neglected my honed senses
was it fair?
was it canon?
stranded in my shame
swimming to a shallow grave
why must i hide?
why must i hide?

I peep behind the horse chestnut tree
as you run far and wide,
and I begin to count to twenty-five.
1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana...
Ready or not, here I come!

Are you hiding over there?
I begin to search high and low
wondering where did you go?
Then I hear your stiffled giggle
Ah, I found you and my smile is wide;
Now its my turn to run and hide.

We giggle and run down the garden
and you begin to count behind the tree
1 banana, 2 banana, 3...
I run towards the garden shed
to the side of the house,
as I attempt to be as quiet as a mouse.

I crawl behind the compost bin
and crouch behind the reeled up hose
but, then I hear your footsteps begining to get closer.
So, I hold my breath a little
and I try and keep myself steady...
Oh **** it, how did you find me already?!

©️Lizzie Bevis