there are no exits
but the ones we do create
this here is just now

you're leaving me here
to make memories
that I will be forced to
look back on
in sadness
when you all
leave me again
one
by
one.

I want to trace
 your edges
 feel your concaves
where skin hugs the 
 boarders of your physicality 
Collapsing into this warm embrace 
 I Am here, and nothing else matters 
This moment cannot be refabricated
So I cherish
 as this texture 
 engulfes my very being 
Sliding through me, 
 wave after wave 
 Soft tremors radiating my core
 quivering as my valleys
 press tightly against your crest
Penetrating deep beneath the surface 
 my sea has no bottom. 
Building creative tension 
 Gripping the remaining foundation 
 Ceaseless crescendo
All boundaries crumble;
  Where do you end, 
  Where do I begin?

Claustrophobic
Cockroaches in corners
Concrete slabs
Clutching, cloaking, choking

Confined and
Constrained of a
Counterfeit life, I was the perfect
Charlatan of my encompassing separation.

Compelled into Self, oh yet
Cumbersome conditioning
Cultivating awareness within
Concentrated compression. I,

Cave!
Capitulation. Cannot withstand these
Currents of clouded
Compensation.

Comfortable in this
Chaos, as I've finally
Concluded: It comprises all of me.
Completely void

Contently
Containing nothing,
Clear from attached perceptions
Captivating Silence.

Come through me
Crawl into my
Caverns
Crash unto my shore

Caressing sensuality
       Continuously
Cascading        down, down, down
Composing my entirety.

Noisy
  Mind Looping
Looking for its way out
As it feeds on a drama
This is not even mine.

Deep breath.
  A pause.
Some clarity.
  The mind fights.
I'm still here.
In my point of presence.
  Come home.
         We are here now.

It will wash away.
  The waves cleanse
As they reverse away from the coast
the undercurrent pulls
  back
into me.

I AM beholden to no one.
  I AM unto my own.
  I AM here for me.
  As the separation fades.
  I can see.

Death
   but no release
Empty again
  in ever more ways
But it's okay
  Don't be sorry
It's here for me
And I'm not suffering
  Something is happening here
A deeper change
    It brings me into a depth
     a stillness
Can I accept it?
  Am I ready?
    I'm allowing the change.
      cling to nothing.
When I'm silent
    it speaks.
Open up
         Listen.
   It doesn't make sense
But I don't care anymore
   It's just an experience
     in the midst of realization.
I am here
  it can serve me.
It's unpleasant now
  as I breathe my way through
But I can be in grace
as I go beyond
and see another view.