Now, I am not a huge man

I'm not large by any means

In fact it is surprising

I still wear normal jeans

My pants don't have elastics

I still use normal towels

But, my BMI stats tell me

I'm a word that has three vowels.

It started just this morning

When I got upon the scale

After getting back my numbers

I felt like a beached whale

Our scale is something special

Uplifitng messages it did send

Today when I stood on it

It said, is it you and your fat friend?

I thought this can't be right

I saw the numbers there

I've gained ten pounds since Christmas

But, I'm ****** if I know where

I thought that the old batteries

Just needed to be changed

But, the numbers were the same again

That **** scale is deranged

Most times I eat real healthy

No fried foods and lots of greens

But I keep on getting fatter

And I don't know what this means

I entered all my numbers

My height, and weight increase

And when my BMI was figured

It said "Son, you're obese"

Now, I do not ride a scooter

I wear an xl shirt

But seeing that word on the chart

Well, man....that really hurt

I watch shows on my tv

of people in bad shape

They weigh in at 600 pounds

And to them I am a grape.

My knees may hurt, my back is sore

But that's not from my weight

They hurt from my arthitis

Not from my  rotund state

Obese, to me is something

That I swore I'd never be

It's a tag that is real hurtful

And it is one I have to see

Each time I get upon the scale

And then go to the chart

It comes up as obese each time

It really breaks my heart

Now, exercise and I are friends

We met once in the past

But we always seem have a fight

And our friendship does not last

I've tried diets that do wonders

They make the pounds fall off

But after twenty pounds of loss or so

My body starts to scoff

It says "you know you're fooling no one"

"A skinny you's just fake"

"So, come on down off the treadmill"

"And let's go get some cake"

So exercise is not for me

There must be other ways

To lose the weight that I've put on

One I can do in days!

I'm looking for a short cut

To break me from my obese rut

So, I chose Liposuction

Where they stick a tube inside my gut

They said "you are a candidtate"

Like, there was choice that had been made

I knew I had to get the weight off

If I wanted to get laid

They took me in a little room

And had me lie down on the bed

Then they put a tag on my big toe

I said "...in case I wake up dead?"

They said it was to tell them what to do

I said I way 300 pounds,

So if I know, why don't you?

They drew some lines upon my gut

and down on to my thighs

I said don't touch nothing down there

It's exactly the right size

They told me that the lines were just

To show them where to ****

Again, I thought below my waist

And I thought "just my luck"

They said a hose would **** the fat

That my body had in store

I thought, that's only so

I can fill it up with more

They said that it would hurt some

And I'd be sore and bruised

Then they showed me a few pictures

Those people looked abused

I siad, no thanks, I'm outa here

I'm gonna lose it right

I didn't put it on that quick

And I won't lose it overnight

I'll change the food I'm eating

And I'll go and walk a bit

I'll use the stairs a little more

And this time I won't quit

But, as I thought of liposuction

And that really neat machine

To own something that ***** like that

Would be so ****** keen!

Now, I'm working on my weight loss

And folks, here is the scoop

I' dropped two pound this afternoon

I just had a good ****!

Just exercise some caution

If your scale says you're obese

For I'm in this fight beside you

And our weights will both decrease!

why does it matter anymore?
what is the point of struggling?
why do I even try?
the happiness eludes me
there are no more bright days and warm nights
only the heavy heat of depression
the dark shadow just behind me
lurking
waiting

My hand didn't want to awaken those abjections
but the ink wondered aimlessly on the paper.
Sullen  episodes were like a cloud on the page.

Mists of what was like heavy dew on my
mind, thoughts drooped uncontrollably.
Then they conceded under strain descending.

Ink was abstract as I never understood why
I felt this incosectant need to cry every thought
on paper. My reflection is not what I feel inside.

I don’t know what I’ve become
I’m living in the middle of a river without a name
If I choose I do not have to recognize anyone
I feel like no nation under God
Or no church under God
But God knows he is not the one I blame

Growing old doesn’t make it easier
I know too much to work for that man over there
Farming my mind in a one-piece rainbow jumper
Walking among those who actually do
Ashamed of my fearful dignity
The money I made killed the flowers in my hair

She was a metaphor trying to take the blame
I took it literally but she thanked me anyway
Sincerity emptied my pockets
Pretension laughed at my convention
I never knew anything about that
But my thoughts treat my demons the right way

I know you and you think I don’t
But what finally struck my heart was your aim
I watched while you let yourself go
It was the only way to know
I decided you meant everything
For a moment someone wasn’t playing a game

I could use a dose of gray
A little pepper of gloom
The heavy rain of a thousand skies
Or the four corners of a windowless room
I could use a dab of dark
An intriquite weaving of color
Steal a shade of black
And coerce it into another
I could use the oceans darkest hours
Or the deepest regrets of the night
I would love to meet blues sinister side
Or the pigment of Lizzy’s flower
As if gray in every shade were the only primary color
I could use some heavy rain
“Heavy Rain” -JP

Outside your window
Waited for you
You didn't come
You never do

In the city in the winter time
The snow and the rhyme
Cover the isolation

Yesterday, baby, they told you the news
They meant no harm
They never do
You can take it anyway you want
It comes and it goes
Rising in broken waves and dreams

Heavy hours passing by the way
Heaven knows how I am trying, babe

I hear you breathing
So steady and true
The whole night long
The whole night through
Your lungs soft heaving
Slow drunken time
Falling with mine
Forever here

Heavy hours dragging by the way
Heaven knows how I am trying, baby
Heavy hours passing by the way
Heaven knows how hard I am trying, babe