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Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
I do not know why I hold the past close
With a firm clutch desperate and cold
Or the reason why welcoming new is hard
Along with getting rid of the old

I cannot gain control of my brain or heart
Or anything, I can barely move my hands
And only to write, other than that my body
Gives into emotions nightly demands

I did not choose this stubborn whirlwind
That has me reeling up and discarded down
My thoughts an unstable ocean
Pulling me under waves to drown

I bottled my flames in glass
So you wouldnt get burned by brutal heat
When I did you were left frigid temperarure and smoldering land to warm your feet

Even 23 years later
I am unaware of my blind spots
Over time they have grown larger
Due to copius drinks and ****** shots

Flaws hang heavy, coated in silver
Attracting people with a shine i haven't got
I admit my sincere beasts are pretty
Darkness that accompanies them is not
My demons are **** as hell
(alternately titled: perp hosting everclear discord)

jump'n jack flash ("hot for teacher")  
     halen from three doors down
     tells me "go ask alice"
in chains about jane's addiction,

     which haint no green day natural bliss,
but super ***** ping
     cheap trick tripped up mendacity,
     where motley crue crew

     doth abba sol lute lee
     get feted among stone temple pilots,
     overhead foo fighting, droning, buzzing
     b52's chauffeuring  prince, Queen Bee Latifah  
     (and their entourage), thru aerospace - criss

crossing the boulevard of broken dreams -    
     rem mem bring diss
dishabille jester, who points a goldfinger,
     and also nods a golden earring,

while keeping arms akimbo
holed at this crowded house,
     in Orlando spurs dawn
     ting idea to tie a yellow ribbon round

     the ole oak tree (with a pink bow
tie), while devo
shin hull lee gesture ring feigned emo
shun null rescue toward brother matthew scott

     (turf riff hick guy), he monitors fo'
the opening royal wedding,
     as feted groomed consanguinity linkedin    
to mother Mary (i.e. thee Judeo -

     Christian bartered bride)
     all a day glow
majestically evoking, an electric light orchestra
     showering hall and oates domain ***

varying kaleidoscope,
     sans manifold dramatically,
     viz scintillating from indigo
girls deep purple raiment (strobe light effect)

     court of king crimson entrancing guests
     with somber non joe
king poise zen awaiting know
wing lee on cue to issue marching orders,

     whence proclaimers salutary formidable low
worrying church fathers regarding im mo'
mod dissed flagrantly loosening mandate re: no
     longer requiring chasuble couture accouterment

imposing a breach pro
pushy hating king crash test dummies
     pleasing secular status quo
bull heavers delivers crisis within liturgical credo
     cleaving via row

ting stinging viz liturgical heart felt
     iron maiden motorhead engine
     aired 21 gun salute amidst
     rose soundgarden mutiny    

qua parochialism creates woe
begotten lachrymose kinks
     on black sabbath sowing yo
yo wing confusion as cream colored police chief
     Hieronymus Bosh heads to ground zero.
alexa Apr 2018
my mother tells me i’m lucky,
father says i’m blessed.
but it’s hard to count any blessings
when i’m always out of breath.
grandma says i look pale,
it’s because i’m not getting enough sleep.
when the farm becomes abandoned
it’s hard to count any sheep.
i’m a mess who makes more messes,
sister tells me it’ll be alright-
that even in my darkest moments
i must remember to turn on the light.
but i think the lightbulb’s broken
or maybe much too dim,
because the only joy i feel
is when i’m looking up at him.
i’m tired of being sorry,
i’m sorry for being tired.
in life these days my
happiness and satisfaction isn’t required.
so it ***** if i’m a disappointment
but it’s hard to focus on grades
when instead my mind likes to relive
every mistake i’ve ever made.
i really didn’t mean to hurt you
i hope you can learn not to be mad.
i just wish i didn’t always go through the day
feeling so ******* sad.
my heart feels heavy.
Sabila Siddiqui Apr 2018
I am not feeling okay
The thoughts that were at bay
Are starting to weigh
Heavy on my mind
Heavy on my heart.

My thoughts start to sway
Guiding me astray
With its
overplay
and overstay.

Pieces of me
Start to fall away
Fade away
Further away.

I am starting to breakaway;
Flay away.

My mind frays
As my thoughts start to play,
my hands start to pray
And my words start to blow away
the people I hold so dear.

I will defray
Soon
But for now I am going to splay
my ache into words.
Dim Apr 2018
If I had last words they would be…
Well… I mean… I see in those streams of invectives
I see especially people who drink, eat, sleep,
who make all human functions
Which are quite rather ******
And I shall say that they’re heavy
It never stopped being heavy
I noticed
I’ve read so many verses and particularly
verses from the 17th century
Verses, so-called courteous verses
I found 3 or 4 good ones in thousands of them
There’s little lightness in man
He’s heavy... isn’t he
And nowadays he’s extraordinary in heaviness
Since automobiles, alcohol, ambition, politics make him heavy
Even heavier
It’s mostly like that, he’s extremely heavy
Maybe one day shall we see a mind rebellion against the weight
But it isn’t for tomorrow
For now... we’re heavy
So I’d say indeed
If I had to die
I’d say
Man is heavy
That’s all
Oh! They were mean but...
Because they were heavy
They were heavy
They were heavy… jealous of a certain lightness
Jealous... jealous like a woman who wears a clothing burlap
instead of another who wears lace
Like someone who owns a workhorse
instead of a thoroughbred
Jealous...
Jealous of being heavy... that’s all
Crippled...
They weigh... they're crippled
Heaviness makes them *******
Therefore we can beware of them
They’re ready to do anything
Oh sure
They’re ready to do anything
And to activate heaviness
They drink, aren’t they
So when they drink, they turn into sledgehammers
It’s frightening, isn’t it
Sledgehammers without control
Yes, they’re especially like this
They activate... increase their weight
Instead of making themselves lighter
Oh! They’re not in Ariel’s side
They’re more like Caliban
More and more
zb Apr 2018
sleep tugs at heavy limbs.
sleep tugs at heavy eyes.
sleep tugs at heavy minds.
sleep tugs at heavy hearts.
sleep calls, and you answer.
zb Apr 2018
i have so many words
bubbling under my skin
pulling at my soul
begging, pleading to be released
"i'm trying," i cry
"please be patient with me," i am but small
but they do not care.
they eat away at me,
and my soul is heavy with the words
i do not yet know
how to set free.
MisfitOfSociety Apr 2018
They've created a remedy,
For you and for me,
and it is killing everybody,
slowly.
Liz Carlson Apr 2018
like a tsunami,
it all hits me so hard.

so much to do,
but no motivation.

so alone,
yet I see faces every day.

i'm stuck in a tsunami,
with no way out.

pulls me further,
pulls me deeper.

how did i get in?
how do i get out?
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