My body is heavy
My eyes are u n f o c u s e d
I
Can’t
         Find
                The
                      Strength
To

-jt

i am overzealous and underwhelming. i say somethings and i regret them. i say nothings and i wish i hadn't. i am weighted and unbalanced. i place value where i think it belongs. i lean heavy into things for too long. i am uncertain and so sure. i run out of thoughts before my heart runs out of feelings. my thoughts run over and overwhelm my heart. i am liminal and concrete. im incomplete but hoping i could be.

Desperation, exasperation, exhaustion to disintegration, elation to devastation, relocation leads to temptation, exemption and no inclusion. Distrust damage intrusion. Castration emancipation, immaculate imagination, alleviation elevation ultimate aggravation, depression and frustration suppression of my attention, aggression is inconclusive, my lonely mind all but intrusive. Regression of this introvert, selfless, sanctified, reclusive.

A net sum of years,
            and romanticized numerals,
Built up by birthdays,
            to be torn apart by funerals.

Frayed ends of friendships,
            pulled until they popped.
A holy mess
            in the wake of a difference,
Between what said
            and what was thought.

her heart was filled with rocks
stones of many kinds
a heart so very heavy
she was running out of time
she needed his love
she needed it now
her heart was so heavy
it weighed her down
it hurt to walk
it hurt to breathe
she still had
things to see
she loved his eyes
and his lovely dark hair
whenever she saw him
she couldn't help but stare
her lips ached
they ached for him
a taste of his love
a taste of his skin
she was so weighed down
she knew she'd drown
in pretty blue eyes
and locks of dark brown
she couldn't help
but obsess over him
such little time
lights growing dim
i need you

my hands are cold
and my eyes are sore
and i don't think
i can take it anymore
my lips are chapped
and my energy is sapped
i'm tired
and weak
and i can't find what i seek
all i want
is to be
snuggling with you
right next to me
but my lids are heavy
and my body aches
im so tired
of making mistakes