The first day that I met you
My heart was pounding in my chest
But it could have been because
I ran there, to the Starbucks
On the Ave
The one you used to work at
But maybe it wasn't because I was
In such a rush
It could have been the coffee
I've heard that can increase your
Heart rate
Or maybe both of these are wrong
You see, I was born with a slight
Arrhythmia
Which messes with the way my heart beats
But maybe it was my hearts way of saying
This one is the one
There's no way of knowing
But ever since that day
I've been smitten;
Scheduling my whole day around
Getting to see you
And I even remember the first time
I rode in your car
Because
You were worried about me
But it became a regular thing
You drove me home on the nights
You worked a close
And each and every time I fell more and more
And you started to feel like home
Because home is not a place
But a feeling in the heart,
And maybe it was my arrhythmia
But I've felt it since the start
And then you up and left
You moved so far away
But you needed to be with your family
I just wish you could've stayed
So I guess I had to visit
Because I was craving you so much
You see, you're like a drug to me,
You're my ******
My crutch
Because I wouldn't make it
Through every day life
Without your voice to hold onto
And our conversations replaying
Over and over
In my painseeking mind
Play it through
Then rewind
Again and again
I reminisce you
And every time we're together it's like
The world stops
And as we lay together
You tell me
"I can hear your heart beating are you okay?"
And maybe you heard
The arrhythmia
Which is why you were concerned
But my heart pounds in my chest
Like the timpani in an orchestra
And every third beat is half the length of the others,
But that's just *the arrhythmia

The link between infatuation and confidence is interesting
I want to be seen, but I do not want to show
I only feel confident when enamored

My turn was long ago
I left you in the same place back then
Where you picked you up once more

A heart doesn't want to be hidden
Throw a sheet over me? Or
Pack me in a box?
"Because I am a gift?"
No.
Enclosed inside a closet,
A never-opened drawer
Suffocating here
"In case of boredom, open box"
String me along
Hang me by my heartstrings

My heartstrings are broken and you're taking out your dagger,
To insert slowly and forcefully, for it is what I deserve, to feel deaths grips upon your blade ever so gently because it does not lie.
Your eyes, cold and joyful to see my demise, will be the last I see because is my heart that you yearn for.

It is not yours to take but you do not hear my cries.
If it passes my breastbone I will cease to exist.
I need to think quick, to defend against the inevitable.

I will not let you take what is not yours.

FIGHT!!!

Why is it the ones we love that we hurt the most?

Death is forevermore.

the pulse of raging flame
sitting in wait           deep
within the core of light

the flicker of spark ignites,
like the screech of dead, cold metal
along your wooden floor
as I fight the need to scream
and break your vaporizer--

this slumbering dragon
sitting in my chest
with billowing wings of
emerald green and burnt-orange
like a whirlwind of autumn leaves twirling
crescent magic of destruction
pulling and pushing
this rage up and down
until the tendrils of flame simmer
and I stand on tip-toes to kiss
your soft lips, the smoke
escaping as exhaust and love, tender--

rock shreds my heartstrings
until it hurts, and i heal—
the right way this time.

You're not a man of many words
But I heard your tears through these paper thin walls
I could have asked you where you were
I could have called your name, but you don't answer anymore

I embrace the loneliness for warmth
This cold winter has been so long
Maybe the cold has frozen my heartstrings
I could have called your name, but I can´t feel anything

You´re not a man of many words
But I felt your love through my heart´s paper thin walls
You have been stumbling backwards
I could have called your name, but It'd just echo in the halls

I embrace the rejection for warmth
This cold winter has been so long
I thought you were the only one who wouldn't let me go
I could have called your name, but the sound melts away in the snow

Love
We're all searching for it
We all crave it
With every fiber of our being
Yet somehow
When we find it
We try to bury it deep down
Too scared to acknowledge it
Too scared to admit defeat
But that doesn't make it go away
It only makes our hearts break
a little more inside
So we run
We run as fast
&& far as we can
Until inevitably
We feel a pull
from the invisible strings in our heart
That we didn't even realize
Were connected to someone else's heart
Until suddenly
We are propelled backwards
With extreme force

Every time you speak
I'd need needles and threads
to fix the broken heartstrings
and stitch my broken heart