Sometimes I ask myself
when did my thoughts and hopes of blue and green
turn into violet worries, violent dispositions
When did this soul with its empty bookshelf
burn all its unwritten scripts of things yet to be seen
and my steady solace turn into a contradiction

I know what I want in life
when I see my favorite pieces of art
scattered accross the canvas of my solitary nights
my cold fingers once touched it and I can count it on all five
I want to believe that I'd be content with really only a shard
to know my dreams aren't just made of imaginary sights

My open heart drives me
in uncertain directions with clear aspiration, sometimes just insane
but always looking, always wanting, always one heart ahead
If my eyes could only look beyond uncertainty and I'd finally see
a way that goes far and will let me travel along a green country lane
If I could feel as if I'd know why it seems so difficult not to be dead.

In everything that had to be broken and shed
these distant promises on remote and empty shores
For only the contingency of all that could be good and whole
Truly not knowing where this road might have led
and still keep my hands open and reaching and breathe in deeply through all of my pores
let me just find one wholesome and abiding content in this burning library inside my soul

The sweet taste of salt fills my mouth
Two dried streaks
Of something that never happened
Of something I wanted us to be
But it turns out to be
That you see
Something different
Three simple words
Stinging like a kiss
That I wasn’t able to have

Your calm and graceful essence
Exalts your beauty in its entirety
A Humanistic effervescence,
And a sharpened wit so fiery,

I long for but a moment of your presence,
My heart yours entirely,
To be considered in such reverence,
As I with passion so admire thee.

You bring beauty to autonomy,
A spirit I would never break,
I would simply want the world to see,
This vision in the heavens make,

Such as I envisage you to be,
For driven through my heart'ed stake,
Belief in passions of chivalry,
Which leaves my yearning heart to ache.

Radiant replies of divinity,
Whose shadows could not forsake,
Light paths towards eternity,
In hopes you too desire courage to take,

A whimsical chance with the likes of me.
I see the depths beneath your waters wake,
Not many others take the time to see,
Beyond the emerald shimmering lakes

Of your eyes that shout in curiosity,
If only you'd take that fated leap,
We'd watch the worlds beneath us shake.

The night,  those stars,
Shined so bright.
Is that night,
When I hugged you so tight.

Your wet lips huckled,
When that cold wind blew.
Pulling your body close,
I kissed you.

So close we were,
My heart felt your.
I went so deep,
That I touched your core.

I felt your warmth,
Got so relieved.
I slept in there,
For, in you, I believed.

When Dawn opened eyes,
I gazed for a while.
My soul felt blessed,
Seeing your smile.

"Used To"


Dead people used to
Haunt me
And drag me back
Screaming to sorrow
No longer
Shall they command
A heartfelt tear
I choose the breathing
And the living
To touch me
Now

Horse
Magic
Skilled rabbit
Pocus
Pizzazz
Lipstick
Bra
Forgetfulness
Habbits
Rambunctious
Pandamon­ious
For skin
Labels
Misguided heart
Wrong turn taken
Abandoned
Abused
Looked after
Stolen
Virginity
To heaven
Extreme
Behavior swings
Cool
Dude
Out
Can camaflouge
All his feelings
Just so
They don't
Get stolen

Life is full days of memories
to be made
Taking risks being alive
tomorrow is today
make it something
even small
say how you feel
be real be you
Don't let it pass you by
memories are vital
it's those that get you by
when life's full of ****
you can always remember
those days you laughed
those days you were hugged
its never to late remember
make it you make it something
Memories of the love you gave
the love you felt
it will be there I promise you
© Jennifer Delong 3/14/2018