algun dia te olvidaré
y ese dia cuando me veas tan feliz
y llena de alegría
me extrañaras .
ahora estoy deprimida y triste y te extraño bien machin .
pero algun dia te olvidaré
hoy no es ese día
pero algun dia me levantare bien chingona
como si nunca te hubiera llorado
como si nunca perdí el sueño
como si nunca tuve pánicos de ansiedad
como si nunca te hubíera querido.
por ahorita, no es ese día .

i'm here,
saying all the things you don't have the guts to say,
here i am,
facing the elephant in the room,
setting it free,
it's about time for a goodbye to be made,
even if you are trying to avoid one.


Your snaring approach convinced my words to give us a story. After knowing you, words sank low to a morsel or two. And after this informal proximity, I wonder, as a lost agraphic, if I could write at all.

It began with absence,
It began with desire,
And all the things in between you could not acquire,

The eves of the trees were slick with dew,
Drops of water all over the leaves, spewed
My heart was young, light, propitious,
Everything around me kind, bright, almost ridiculous,
Perhaps then was when you surmised,
That I would prove an absolute delight

Did you wonder if it would be easy?
I feel like I was supposed to act ******
The veins you clogged and the bones you broke,
The fingers you bent and the heels that just won't
The hair that was shaven as it grew unheeded,
My nails were pulled, they were not needed.

Cast down all the hangings that I put on the wall,
Take a scythe to them as I watch, in thrall
I fell to my knees and you helped me to the ditch,
Disposed to push me in as they swang the pots out and hitched

Scrubbing as I reeled, I could not get clean
The filth was everywhere, I found it hard to deal.
In a state of numbness, I found some balance
So now I'm clinging to this graceful frame of nonchalance,

Pray not leave with distaste,
In your abiding, unreasonable hate,
You crash about furniture as you do,
And I no longer care to clean up after you.

I buried your bones, I buried your skin, buried your hooks that hung my mind akin...

I emptied your closet, I emptied the walls, I've emptied the garden of roses and thorns...

I broke the vases, I've broken the dishes, I've broken myself into submission...

I've pulled the blinds, I've pulled the bedsheets, I've pulled the nerve to reckon your touches...

And as much as I'm hiding, as much as I'm blaming, as much as I'm crying in vain over paining...

I rattle the hangings, I battle my god, I scatter belongings that don't matter at all...

It's begining to occur the way back is hard, to places we made in oceans and stars...

You're a part of the air now, I'm breathing dense it's heavy, maybe I can try and walk out of the mess, but the drag's too much to resist...

The warmth of the floor still persists on the floorboards where you stood, so cold and lonely you were, I kept ignoring the truth...

What hurts the most is that I knew yet I kept it low, I slept every night beside you, and let the spaces grow,

I can hear the curtains screaming, cursing with every sip of the wind, to reveal these hands I denied her and let her scream within,

There's words to speak,
I say to these walls where we sneaked,
To kiss to breathe each other,
Where we laughed at every situation
Just like lovers....We were
I wish I'd said it then,
I fathom you still bound to the wall,
Eyes looking at their reflection in mine,
Like knowing that we lovers would fall...

You’d be here someday,
Where I stand today,
You’d feel the same for me,
But I’d be nowhere for you to see.

You might even call me out,
With a trembling fear like mine in each shout,
But I’d not answer you,
Making the pain difficult for you.

That day my love, would be just,
When you’d understand how you left my heart covered in dust,
That day you’ll cry over your deed,
And my smiles, kisses and hugs will become your need.

But you’d be there alone to plead,
Cause then I’ll have moved on and a great life I’d lead.
I don’t want to curse you but I know without even showing how your heart will bleed.

That day you’d look everywhere, but not see me,
Laying somewhere far from you I’d be,
With someone who had loved me when you’d not,
And cared for me when you forgot.

That day I’d smile and advise you to move on,
Cause then we’d have actually been torn.
That day you’d realize my love for you,
And you’ll fall the same way I fell for you,
But it’ll be too late later on,
Because, darling by then I’d have moved on!