As my shoes collect dust inside the shelf,
I've finally found time to improve myself.
To colour my life a little bit brighter,
Red, pink, blue and a little bit greener.
©kanishka

My head still hits the bed,
Constantly figuring my hurt,
The source of my pain,
And the path to new love.

I still go to sleep,
Praying for beautiful dreams,
Dreams that aren't about you,
And dreams that come true.

I still wait anxiously,
For that magical day,
When I wake up,
Keeping your thoughts at bay.

I still get lost,
In the middle of my day,
Tired of figuring out,
How long you will stay.

I still had hope,
Until the day you broke,
My heart in million pieces,
In just one stroke.

And now,
It's time to let go.
It's time to let you go.

its a different kind of missing you
i miss you in a sweet little way
a smiley happy bubbly thinking of you way
but also in a deep dark twisty way
a way that makes me want to puke
and i hate it
because i cant feel the sweet happy fluttery feelings
without also feeling the dark twisty ugly things too

i miss you
in ways that hurt
and in ways that heal

funny how time
changes ones persona
snatches time
just to unfold facades
were warned about
mask of destructions
face upfront of lies and
betrayal, only time will
tell when will be its
destruction, a massive explosion
a change for good or for worse
pick which bomb you're
willing to catch
enough to heal you or burn you
till death crawls upon you
like a friend whose trust covered you
like silk that slides through
your insides and cut you
straight out to your guts
ahhh, you'll bleed, silently
painful, at least its here
to cover the wounds your
are afraid to show,
taking its slow
riddance to bid
goodbye, to its familiar
comfort, it took mine
in an instant
swift, unaware
unprepared
went home to find solace in the chaos
just to find out chaos was worse
back in my hometown
sank too deep, drowning
barely breathing
lost control, drank too hard
hard to hear, in a city
that drowned you enough
with the perception of you are home
a bask of sympathy and a whole
lot of crap, thats right
got too fragile
a thin glass face, immerse with hope.
reconnecting seems different
in this era, an exchange of
opinions only they can
dictate, a personal space only them
can invade, a handful of decisions
only them can decide
rage, thats what got to me
but rage in the end will destroy me
peace, its not what your getting
but instead a mirror reflected of the things
that you are actually afraid of
seeking to haunt you in places
your afraid to step foot of
deep, unfiltered
perhaps a decade will
ravel a new character,
stronger and better.