My words are a guillotine
and you willfully put your head
underneath it.
I know ******* you.
It'd be so easy.
A simple word here
a phrase there
and I'd destroy you.
Leave you doubting yourself
doubting me
and feeling guilty for it.

My hands touch you
make you plead for more.
I want to freeze sometimes
to just stop.
Maybe even to leave.
I want to leave your wondering
what you did wrong.
I want to break your heart.
Because this is what I do.
I leave things, people,
in pieces.

Only once in a blue moon
do I wish to destroy
to break
to shatter.

Sometimes,
it's not you I want to hurt
it's me.
I want to destroy myself
from the inside out.
That includes hurting you
beyond repair.
If I make you hate me
I'll have no reason not to hate myself.

You know when you're holding
something precious
like life in your hands
say
a frog
and you have the fleeting thought
to crush it between your fingers?
That's what it feels like.

That's what this feelng is,
isn't it?
Just a small thing
destined to go away.
I don't realy
wholeheartedly want to hurt you
or anyone or anything
really
I don't.

I just want to know
what you'd say
what you'd do
if I could ever make you cry
If I could completely break you.

Part of me
knows how wrong this is
how I shouldn't be wonderng about this
that wanting to **** something
or destroy it's spirit or heart
probably makes me a sociopath
but I'm not sure if I care.

I want to be compared
to a black hole.
I want to make everyone hate me
see how ugly I really am.

I want you to wish you'd never met me.

Self-destruction is a terrible thing,
isn't it?
When you've got nothing left
and you're all on your own
you have no means to go on.

I wish I didn't have you by my side,
but then again,
I never want you to leave.

I wish to God I could be taken
from this earth
but I want to stay with you forever.

Baby tell me
I'm okay.
That I'm not insane.
That you'll love me no matter what.
Because I'm scared of what I'm capable of.

I'm scared of hurting you
purposely or otherwise.

This guillotine
doesn't want your head
to be there.
It wishes you would move,
save yourself.
Pull away.

But you don't.
You stay in the blades path.
And as it goes down
so does my heart.

I wasn't created to destroy.

the constant ticking in my head is painful
all i can think about is the
tick tick tick
echoing in my brain
the sound bouncing off my skull
it hurts
im sad
im anxious
tick tick tick
almost like a finger impatiently tapping
like someone is impatiently waiting for me to die
so the ticking will stop
so the ticking will cease
and I won't hurt
i won't be sad
i won't be anxious
i won't be imprisoned by the demons
or the
tick tick tick
i need a solace from the torture
a solace from the pain
from my heartbeat
from my life
i can't take the
tick tick tick
a gun
a pill
a rope
an antidote to life
an antidote to the chains
an antidote to the infuriating
tick tick tick
that goes on inside my head
pull the trigger
swallow the pill
tie the rope
end my pain
end my sorrow
end my life
anything to end the
tick tick tick
anything to end the feeling of
tick tick tick
tick
tick
tick
click
click
click
silence

Master, you're put in charge
As your servant, I have put you first
I live to please you

March single file, up, up, up.
Take the stairs two at a time,
sweat beads run lines down your face.
Get to the tunnel carved in rock,
push past the crowds to break out,
then up, up, up
till you peak at the top,
the trail's end.
Survey the crater, lush, serene,
barricaded against the city
which spills between hills and mountains.
Forget it all,
turn to face the sea.

I heard your scream through the wall
She’d said,
You were shouting about a great fall,
Did you end up dead?

I heard your scream through the wall,
She’d said,
And then you started to ball,
Did you forget to take your meds?

I heard your scream through the wall,
She’d said,
You said they made you feel small,
Did those voices ever leave your head?

I heard your scream through the wall,
She’d said,
To the soundtrack of thunderous rainfall,
Did you think you were on your deathbed?

I heard your scream through the wall,
She’d said,
I ran in and saw it all,
Did you think I’d leave while you bled?

A voice is heard often
Like a lion roaring in a den.
He wants to come out,
Roar once again, slake his drought.

But another voice is heard again,
It rebukes the lion and closes the den.
This voice sounds like that of a man
Who wants to do all, but has no plan.

The day isn’t too far
When the tumult will turn into a war.
Face of lion with a body of man, I see,
None is ready to set the other free.

This war of the voices begins with the sunrise,
And ends at the moment I close my eyes.
This is the way where monsters tread,
Head’s alive, while the heart’s dead.