anthem; my song
plays, and I will
wind my own turnkey.
I'll dance, shaking
off the rust of shame
and regret;
it won't stop me.

If I'm stuck looking back
at the past, how will I ever
see the present?

heaving breaths and it
feels like gods choking
me again, my vocal cords
are strained, my voice
a squeak. Invisible
tears stain my cheeks,
still dry. I'm imploding
and becoming super-nova
or maybe a black hole
instead. Screaming a
whisper:

H E L P
M E

i'm deafened by the
silence; air palpable
and I can hear my
heart beat fast.

Its like I was
back there again.

you would do well to remember
that I'm not made of stone
thousands of papercuts into
my armor, it splits and I
bleed unto paper.
...
I wish I could bleed out in
your arms, instead.

the feeling of a paused
explosion, breathe in- out.
only the smallest spark; yet
I feel like I've been
electrocuted.

what a beautiful
tragedy
my love for you,
so strong,
it can destroy
my very
core
...
I'm hopeless.

the butchers nest
blood on the linoleum
she sharpens her blade
pay her and meats on the
table, just don't think about
where it comes from.

the freedom of
loneliness, breathe
in the silence,
intoxicating.
the feeling of
an empty house,
...
I guess we all want
what we don't have.

scream up and down
to give me more space
but when the
night comes
cold sets in
...
I just want you to hold me.

I've turned toward the sun

and I've begun to heal, cracks

once oozing now sealing, but

no matter how much I reach up

and how much I grow, the scars

are always with me, and I

will never forget.