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Mariah Apr 15
Can't you see me?
Can't you see?
How its supposed to be
You had to teach me

A burdensome chore
You chose to ignore
So you left me alone
Wondering why I did so on my own

Now I know nothing
I'm always running
Under the pressure
I'm crumbling

The unformed person
Hiding behind the curtain
Ashamed of being the burden

Now you can't see-
but when you think of me
I'm gone and you're still  
Hating me  

How I'm ought to be
It isn't clear to me
And I'm sure you'd happily agree
I am lost at sea

You were so headstrong
About knowing all along
I was unworthy and ugly, loud and wrong
Now I suffer
Nowhere to belong


You can no longer tell me to go
This is my home
Piece by piece, blood and bone
I built it on my own  

You know of my unbearable pain
Trying to live life your way
And you know I couldn't stay
When you were the one sending me away

I don't want to grow old
With my life feeling cold
All thrown away
Feeling myself decay

Its not my responsibility
Your incivility
Never a child to you,
But a void of hostility

Your high horse far away from me
And I know,
that even though
I can't see you looking down
It is a certainty

Creative were your reasons
To deny the diseases
That plagued our house of stalled seasons
So look away, so you don't need to believe in
The winter that we lived in

Deny, deny, deny
The distance between you and I
Came from you, and your willingness to
Misidentify
"This child is not mine,
It Chooses to defy,
There is Rot inside."
And I can never be satisfied
With your answers when I ask why

"You, you, you-
You chose to do-
Everything bad that happened to you."

How could I
When I was the child in knots
And you were the tie

If I am a Bad Egg-
and I am Rotten -
Then you were the Broken,
Beaten Down fridge that I was in
For my mother.
I never wished it of you, but I will die someday, just like you want me to.
And maybe then, you could finally be proud.
Or at least, you could finally stop haunting me.
During the time we were apart,                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
wounds formed scars on my heart                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
Now whenever I close my eyes,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­     
I see you & her, I can't deny,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
when we kiss it isn't the same,                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                          
I feel your mouth say her name                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
then I flashback to where we were,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
when I caught you alone with her,                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I know you want us to move on,                                                          
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
but I'm not sure I am that strong                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
It's not easy to forgive & forget,                                                                    ­                         
because I am not over it yet
                                                                    ­                                                  
Just because it fell through for you,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­               
doesn't mean I should go back to you                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
You should have thought about it first                                                      
                                                                ­                                             
 before you decided it was me, you'd hurt                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I 've been with you through thick & thin                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                         
and you **** on me again & again                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
Don't blame me for what you've done,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
I won't miss you when you are gone                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
While you were busy replacing me,                                                        
     ­                                                                 ­                                                
I was seeing what I couldn't see                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
Now that I have really opened my eyes,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                        
I love you less than I realized                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                    
So, thanks for the favor for me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                     
Maybe she is still there waiting
For anyone who's ever given there all & received nothing.
In Syria Palestine Yemen
And Iraq and Somalia and Sudan
It's war all the time and
In lands where the bombs still roar
People dream of a peace they explore
But the wars rage on
And the devil will never give up
Up it's the little children
Who suffer every day and
No victory won no battles cease
Just silent rest and hollow peace.
American war planes bombing Yemen Syria Iraq Somalia
Israeli war planes bombing Lebanon Palestine Syria and Yemen.
Visvod Apr 15
They cut, crush, cauterize or tie off the eyestalk
of female prawns and shrimp
to stimulate faster reproduction
   usually without anesthesia

I often wonder the complexity of pain felt
when they flail about helplessly
disoriented and dissevered

Do they     rejoice?  

For their life has a gained greater purpose.

Or do they mourn what once was?

For the following generations will be disease-prone and decline
and suffer
and decay.

Nothing we haven't already done to ourselves admittedly.
We might actually be the only organisms
unable to cohabitate with each other.

We seek God to fear our actions
that are preached as sins.
It keeps us good and honest
Yet our empires and civilizations repeatedly fall
generation after generation
as power is granted to our rulers that partake in
Eyestalk Ablation.

For we worship them over God himself.
It's a good thing we were getting tired of God anyways.
You learn something horrifying everyday.
souletry Apr 14
me.
I’m constantly trying to do the impossible
grab the incredible.
express the inexplainable.
stop the inevitable.
I am not a pioneer of my own future.
I’m a prisoner of my past, look at
how the shackles dangle from my feet,
how they cuff my hands like dainty bracelets.
I refuse to care for the pragmatic whole of the world.
When I step on freedom it will be everything
I want it to be.
The flowers will grow upside down
The sky will be a rare shade of blue.
We’ll share hands and explore the world
created by the love in our hearts.
Freedom will be something I can hug
I will not drown in the pool of my own desires
The world can’t intervene now.
I can love you so freely without being
killed by my own limerence.
yea
So, while I'm here broken & ******                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                              
Mascara smeared; she still looks pretty                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Even with that smile in her eyes                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                
  That ***** is the devil in disguise                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
She took my love & my pride                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
Now every day, I die inside                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
Puffy faced & pouting mouth                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
She shows you what love's about                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
She was a habit you couldn't quit                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                   
  It was me you chose to forget
For all the other women out there.
They were breaking her, she was their favorite game,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                
Her face was a blur, they all called her names,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
She could have been anyone; they just had a need                                                                   ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
to hurt someone with their reckless deeds                                                            ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
Fragile as glass, they chipped away at her,                                                                      ­                                                   
all in the same class, they liked throwing dirt                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Some said she had demons of her own                                                                     ­                                               
they exorcised theirs by computer & phone                                                
                                                                ­                                                
They saw her as weak & hoped to bring her down                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                           
They sought out to seek someone to push around     
                                                                 ­                                                   
It all became too much; she committed suicide                                    
                     ­                                                                 ­                                
It was just too much for her to abide                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
They had broken her, she was their favorite game,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
   To them a faceless blur whose life forever changed
The cruelty of bullying effects people more than we know.
What are you so afraid of?                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­Being gay isn't contagious                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
Why can't you be true to you?                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                                   
Love anyone that you want to.                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
Is it wrong to be different?                                                       ­             
                                                                ­                                                    
Who are we to consequence?                                                     ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
We're all unique in our own way                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
What is wrong & who's to say?                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                         
Judgement is passed so easily                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
Like a cycle of stupidity,                                                       ­                                                              
Do you believe you can choose                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­
Be careful of who you lose                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
Friends come is all colors & size                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
Do you have so many by your side?                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                
That you can choose to discard                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                        
everyone who's not your star?                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                        
  Words can hurt so **** much                                                             ­                                                                 ­    
                                                                ­                                                
  Stop the hatred, enough is enough!                                                          ­                                                      
          ­                                                                 ­                                     
  This hate could only make sense                                                            ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
If we embraced intolerance
For all those who fought to live their lives without judgement.
Don't you know once we're down this road, there's no going back                  
                                                                ­                                                      
All these years of loving you, where did we fall off track?                                
                                                                ­                                              
Looking back at all the years, I doubt we would know when                                                             ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
We would rather hate each other than to call the other friend                          
                                                                ­                                                    
No use getting sentimental, it is what it is                                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I don't know where we go after all of this                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
You can go your way, and I will go mine, there's no turning back                      
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
The cards are laid & they've been played but the cards were stacked                
                                                                ­                                                      
It was felt but not said aloud for a long, long time                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
We could have lived in ignorance & it would be just fine                                      
                      ­                                                                 ­                           
But I decided that truth would set us both free                            
                                ­                                                                 ­             
What we couldn't see was how it affected us emotionally
I'd like to thank personally                                                       ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
For all the years of misery                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     
That you have inflicted on me                                                               ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­  While I gave of myself endlessly                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
You always treated me like ****           
                                                                        ­                                                         Telling me that I deserved
it                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
And yes, it hurt quite a bit                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
I'm glad to say I am past all of it                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                
 You really hit below the belt                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                          
Making me hate even myself                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                      
Oblivious to how I felt                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
You lit the fire, watched me melt                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
I absorbed your every blow                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I didn't have the sense to know                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                
That I could just turn & go                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
  and in return I would then grow                                                             ­                                                                 ­        
                                                                ­                                        
Through God's strength & mercy                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
He had a different plan for me                                                              
                                                                ­                                                  
He opened my eyes so I could see                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
That you weren't worthy of me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
  Looking back on those dark days                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
  I can't imagine why I stayed                                                           ­                                                             
   ­                                                                 ­                                              
  and let a man treat me that way                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­  and told myself it was okay                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I have learned from my mistakes                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                                
That real love is about give & take                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                                 
  the next time, that I fall I'll make                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
**** sure my heart isn't at stake
After years of blaming myself, I know it's not me.
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