You break your own heart
Everytime you don’t listen
to your gut and soul

Like rocks in my stomach,
Pulling me down,
I feel such guilt,
But I don't know how.

I do this accidentally,
Every single time,
I always type so hastily.
What is wrong with my mind?

When your mood changes,
I feel so weak.
I know its my fault,
And I almost wish to weep.

I never want to make you hurt,
But I worry that I do,
I wish that I was there,
So I could show that I cared for you.

And every time you end up sad or mad,
Or somewhere in between,
I get so nervous that its over,
Lost for eternity.

I don't know how to apologize,
Other than to say I'm sorry,
But I know its not enough,
You deserve more.

I wish I could give you more.

Something wasn't sitting right with us...
like a void that never filled.
I was almost oblivious to the pain of
deep cuts that never healed.
A moment of clarity I needed
my conscience to reveal..
Something told me to leave -
I keep my third-eye peeled..

life full of meaning
when your name enters my mind.
screen of black lit up with your simple calling,
a token of your thinking of me.
smile spreads across
and stomach becomes uneasy...
i want to shout;
shout it to the world
this gut feeling.
it whispers to me:
"you love him.
you're in love with him.
tell him. tell him and he's yours."
only i can't say anything.
it's simply not my place to.

Even the best laid plans go wrong,
The unexpected comes along.
Before you know it, suddenly,
You are in new territory.

When that happens what do you do?
Do you give up or see it through?
'Tis a decision you must make...
To give up or a risk to take.

You may decide to take a chance,
To fly by the seat of your pants,
You might stick with it, come what may,
Just let the chips fall where they may.

Or choose to play it safe you may,
Retreat to fight another day,
Decide the risk is just too great
With too much left to chance, to fate.

Perhaps it is a hunch, your gut,
The weighing up of ifs and buts
That helps you reach a decision
That which for you is the right one.

You and you alone have to choose
And whether you win or you lose,
Your reasoning to you is known,
The decision but yours to own.

Something to be learned
From my gut
But focus too hard and that tension will cause my gut to shut the **** up.
And sometimes I want it
But until I listen I know I stay haunted
By a gut that churns and yearns to upchuck the truth.
Just learn the truth!
It burns in you!
But still I tense and squeeze and search for keys
Search for meaning, search and plead
We make believe while our guts clench and scream
You are the truth!
Its only you!
And its only me
Because we cause what we see
Just like the fish cause the sea
And the sea caused the fish
In an age old wish for self
You see identity just builds itself
It has no real base in some impermeable self
Its the illusion of self
That swells from relation
Because yours is not mine and
Mine is not yours
But apart from all this: nothing is sure!
We’re a network of cells distinguished by traits
But we form one big gut because we’re one in the same.