Why do I feel guilty
I didn't do anything
I just want to be whole
I want to feel safe
The only way I can ensure my safety
Is to stay hidden
If my secret got out
I would be *******
You see my parents are catholic
And homophobic as hell
And I hate to lie to them  
I don't have a choice
I want to stay here
And so, I'll go back to the closet

Are they snowballs down in hell
or just fire, smoke and heat?
I must live forever in my shell,
solving the matters of your deceit.

You put my feelings in the shredder,
wearing that silly mask of Cupid,
I'm guilty. I should have known better.
You're Evil in disguise, and I'm so... stupid.

You were feeding me with charming lies
about how your Sun is kissing the snow,
you made me walk away two thousand miles,
now I don't live at home anymore.

We should stop playing this blame-game,
and don't hide behind the shadows of a traitor,
the loneliness is whispering now my name,
believe me, you will thank me for this... later,

when your raven years will bring you wisdom,
you'll sit and have your morning breakfast,
you'll make confessions to God's kingdom,
only then you'll triumph over Life's tempest.

i was put on death row
the day we met.
november 12, 2014
i became a prisoner.
the jury decided i was guilty
of loving too hard
caring too much.
capital punishment is a little unjust
but you decided 20 to life
just wasn’t enough.

Like rocks in my stomach,
Pulling me down,
I feel such guilt,
But I don't know how.

I do this accidentally,
Every single time,
I always type so hastily.
What is wrong with my mind?

When your mood changes,
I feel so weak.
I know its my fault,
And I almost wish to weep.

I never want to make you hurt,
But I worry that I do,
I wish that I was there,
So I could show that I cared for you.

And every time you end up sad or mad,
Or somewhere in between,
I get so nervous that its over,
Lost for eternity.

I don't know how to apologize,
Other than to say I'm sorry,
But I know its not enough,
You deserve more.

I wish I could give you more.

Guilt of lack of sleep
makes me decide to go to bed early,

Guilt of lack of accomplishments
makes me unable to sleep thinking about it,

Guilt of sleeping in and time wasted
makes me put 3 alarms at 6:01 am, 6:02 am, and 6:05 am,

Guilt of my emotions eating me up,
makes me unable to get up even when Im wide awake,

It turns out that guilt is the only thing I accomplish, allow to eat my day up, and yet can't decide on lacking.

That innocent pure smile,
Of your childish face…
That dimpled wink,
Shows your grace.

The touch of your smooth skin,
That beautiful little chin…
Your mirror-eyes, that show my grin,
So blissful
**** I miss you…

That teethy smile,
And your little nose…
the soft palms and pinky toes,
As alluring as a rose.
i feel, I wish to ……..
****! snowbell I miss you.

I wanna go back,
Bring you….
Start a new day,
With you.
Your phone calls,
No matter the time falls,
Still perfect, your memories are
And the place in heart,
I have for you….
****! Honey, I miss you!

I wish I could correct,
The wrongs I had made…
I want our love,
Never to fade……
I confess my fault.
It’s all my own.
****! I miss you…
I feel Alone…………..

Should I feel guilt,
Should I feel guilty
Becuase you're out there
Loving someone who's not me?