Where did my  guilt come from
The sorrow of my nervous system
It precedes me
The clock interwinds and i am left where i came
To hurt the ones who hurt me
Feels far from sublime
I will wait until this sadness drops
Let it fall to the depths of my soul
Until one day I wake up and realise
That it was my fault.

This comfort disturbs me
Has God let me go
In my own path where I follow my own conjectures
And be blind-sided by the masses of sheep
Before me lay wisdom I cannot keep
And breathe into me so life cannot weep
Descend into my sleep as dawn nears closer
And befall my ascendency to you.

Nobody warned me
about the sound of skeleton laughter,
ribcages shaking like bells,
airless chuckles cracking the hot night,
slipping through the closet slats
into my skull.

It was fine with just Meg:
supermodel cheekbones,
a jaw that could steal my name.
We shared the closet,
my jackets brushing her collarbone.
"your flesh prison
can't wear that many anyway."

Then came her sister,
then another,
until nine of them
rattled teacups at 2 A.M.,
dripping through the floorboards.
My shirts fled to the hall.
I dream of thunder
that silences their bones.

They call it a ****** of crows -
but what waits in the dark,
rattling its teeth
for the last of you,
is a plague of skeletons.

My bodies losing the collagen
To keep itself together
And you still want to go camping
And smoke out in this weather

When the sun goes down
And we feel cold
And we need eachother
In a skin to skin hold
Don’t point out my cuts, bruises, and blood
Just kiss my skin and tell me I’m loved.

Axe in my hand,
head in the plan,
blood pools around my feet

Where I stand.

Raised in surrender,
Fallen contender,
Will you still be in front of me
When the war has ended?

Arrow in my hand,
A face off in the plan,
Guilt pools around my feet

Where I stand.

The price that you pay,
The winnings I take,
The sacrifice

I am

Unwilling to make?

Don’t die on me now,
My heart kisses the ground,
Winter melts away as the
Sun comes around.

I drop to my knees
Among the dirt and wheat
As I fall to a man
As unloving as me.

Your claws in my own,
And an evil that goads
At us
laughs at the victory

Of taking your throne.

I hope when I’m buried
Under an aging tree
I see your face,
carved into the bark

Staring back at me.

That's me what I'm now, my life is certain.
You'll call me, and I'll say: 'Hello, I'll call later.’
You'll answer: 'OK. I got it. No problem.'
And I'll left with a guilt that you're a waiter.

The time will trip forth, to feelings athwart.
And you'll await for my call all the same.
My answer to you is my heavy load now,
My refusal words and short tones after them...

And you'll await for my call until last,
Until your last profound sigh.
If I could turn all things around,
I'll call you back after a while...
Forgive me...

It was never that bad —
until it was.
Until I tested my luck
and didn’t pass the spoon.

I wasn’t the “good girl”
I had to be.
And it cost me — heavily.
You say I made you.
I knew the rules.
I broke them.
That's how you want me to think, right?

But I know the truth.
You’re a polar bear
to the unaware.
With your crisp white coat.

But even they slip —
leave blood on that coat.

You forgot to check my phone.
I have a video
of you preying on the weak.

But I won’t show anyone.
I won’t fight.

That’s the difference —
between me and the prey.
The prey doesn’t feel bad
for the hunter.
The prey asks for help.

And I?
I stay.

Your coat stays white.

Just hoping you leave me
alone to fight.

nobody wants to hear my cries,
or the whispers of my aching heart,
I hope that maybe soon my heart dies,
so I no longer have to carry the guilt of things that I have not done,
I wait for the day I don't have to care,
can flea from every issue,
faster than a cheetah can even dream to run,
but even when my brain repeats,
like a broken record of all the things that once went wrong,
I wipe my own tears in the car's backseat,
because nothing in life is ever that significant,
or never should be, to me anyway,
but unfortunately you were truly magnificent.