I wonder sometimes do even you care
My whole entire life have you been there?
Watching my every move and guiding me
Or are you judging me and laughing at my stupidity
You're probably in heaven thinking "Who is he?"
Yet you're flying free
And I'm grounded like I can't watch tv
I'm mentally sick and I hide it by smiling
But I ponder on what you'd say to me
If anything at all
Do you like movies? Do you play basketball?
Do you like cookies? Can you cook? Can you draw?
Just some questions I want answered
Are you a good dancer?
Are you like me someone who doesn't know their place?
And wouldn't see it even if it was right there in their face
Someone who feels alone in a crowded room
And can only ponder about their own doom
And how the essence of life is in fact pointless
Or are you an optimist? An opportunist with unlimited confidence
Who can work a room like a ******* or a con artist
How do you feel about the institutes and the school system?
If you were given life what would have been your mission?
I bet you're just as lost as I am from every angle
But I still love you, fly high my miscarried guardian angel

The seasons change
God only knows what the season may bring
Warm knitted sweaters to cradle me
House warming gifts to mend my suffering
   You keep the fire always burning low
Making sure its never fades
You keep me going like the fading glow
But I know someday it has to fade
And everything will change...

But even though your not there
You are here within me
Keeping me warm and safe
Everyday  Forever...

   Things always change
God only knows what tomorrow brings
Warm soft pillow to rest my head.
A roof to keep out all the Dangerous things
    Showing me how to stand on my own
holding me close through the storm
Giving me a place to call my own
But I know that's today
Tomorrow everything will Change....

Even though your not there
You are here within me
Keeping me warm and safe
Everyday forever....

Everyday forever...

I remember,
When I was eight.
I held a silver blade over my pale wrist.
But it told me to stop,
And so I slipped it away.
I remember,
When I was fourteen.
I brought out that same blade,
Along with two others.
Silver, black, blue.
Yet again,
They told me to forget.
Regretfully,
I hid them in the drawer of my wooden desk.
I remember,
When I was eighteen.
Ready to end everything,
I brought out all five of them.
Silver, black, blue, white, green.
For all my deadly sins,
I deserved them.
Tears welled but were never shed.
My guardians,
They told me to rise up,
To continue to make memories.

The rise and the fall
Of the rose petals in a storm
Left to defend with only thorns
And already more than halfway gone

The scent carries on the wind
Of this Rose, I'm guardian
Guarding what is left
Of a beauty left in the past...

Because although they say true beauty never dies
A rose wasn't built to last

I lay awake at night,
and curse at the moon.
I wish I could speak to you,
but you are beyond my sweet tune.
I know when I sleep,
it's the only time I reach you.
You always meet me halfway,
on the dark side of the moon.
I wish I could remember,
what happens when I dream.
I know that I'm with you,
I can feel it when I wake.
It's like you've been holding me,
torn with wanting me to stay,
but you know it's not my time yet,
so you beckon me to wake.
I miss you so much,
at the first light of day,
but I know I'll meet you again,
it's a feeling I can't shake.

Oh, **** all this **** getting in the way of our happiness!
I just want to drown gloriously in your eyes like I used to.
To drink you in and be enveloped by your essence ,
to breath in the same air and kiss that kiss so openly begging to be tasted!
The chasm close enough to rue, too far to jump?
the universe conspires against us,
****!
****!
****!
Who the hell is in charge of this ****!?
A fraction of a fraction off, in one calibration
and love is completely ******!
Who writes this stuff?
Get a fuckng clue!

I want a new case manager,
this one is ******!

But these Eyes which fall on words inevitably unwritten,
Resonates absurdity's fingertips,
A delayed abomination,
Dancing with harlequins in their ring of retribution,
sing out with a poet’s mocking:

‘Fear your mistress/fear your maiden,
Decorated in her daisy chain of souls,
And silver to her bones from stone cold matinees’,

With Carnal thirst for the cruel phantoms
Who patrol like clockwork within a cell patterned cathedral,
Chanting monologues pairing their patience with promise,
In Shadows behind the collar they hide,
With convulsive voices knotting the synapses like shoelace,

This Fruitless curiosity meets with defeat,
The divine torture of invisibility argued with nihility,
Running blood of a guardian and a watcher's ghost,

With whom do they divulge their surrender to?
An anonymous force or a non-existent one?
Maybe they refute the toxic plains of prayer,
Maybe it is their duty to be timekeepers not lovers,