The spin to my records, Scream

Makes it all easier

To face the music

Relentless trouble

And I drown it all out with noise

A choice between Hell and America

Heaven now too good for anyone

I perish between

The perfect and righteous

The flawed, Rip the hostages

I've trapped

In my mind

They are chained and scarred by my mistakes

That in the moment were choices opposed

To a dead end

My screams now level

Only an octave higher

From the massacre I've deserved

I've been targeted

After...

All the abuse and trauma I caused

How could I have known then?

My mind once creating scenarios on how

I'd sceme my way into getting what I craved

I, deprived of what was not needed

Just wanted it so bad

Those I've hurt

I'd never hurt again

If given all tools and resources to do such

I'd use them upon my soul

To dispose of reek planted by shame

You live and learn

And all my knowledge now

Is put on hold until

Their hurt

Mirrors mine

Resembling

Shattered plastic

Because I'm stubborn

And Glass too fragile

Reminds me of a relic reflection

It takes an abundance of love and care to cause a flower to grow and blossom.

Hussein Dekmak

Let's seeds of sadness fall
for only what I water
will grow.
Let tired flowers wilt
before cold winds
blow petals of old away.

May the ground
take its beauty back
and wait for warmer days
when I will water
smiling seeds under summer skies.

And only after Their spring
would I be content
leaving dry lands,
And on that day
let me give back
what wilted petals paid
to me.

the person that reflected back in the mirror
wasn’t the same person she used recognize
she turned into a stranger
when she spoke the voice that came out
was different
the clothes that she wore didn’t rest right on
her bones.
though she was unfamiliar with figure she saw
everyone around her could see the transformation she made.

questioning how she got this way.
but knowing that she could only grow from there.

day4
I woke up again today
face swollen
and sore
stained with bruises
and some sharp cuts
I ate and drank water
sat comfortably for some hours
showered and
put myself together a little bit
good things I can give myself
bad things too
But I’m slowly tiring
exhausted by now
from bad things and their shimmer

and the way they catch my eye
.

Wherever I go, I find
Something new about me, about you.
I am no mystery, you are no new.
Yet we always stand here to learn and grew...
Each passing day is incognito like I hide my selfhood in you.
You carry, I flow..
You demand, I show
You attempt, I undergo..
Together on this journey, we grow...

Every time I look, I don’t always watch
Every time I cook, I don’t always use pots
Anytime it’s too much, I never know how to stop it
Anytime I’m outta luck, I reallign all my options
Now every time I look, I always pay attention
Every time I’m shook, I make sure I stay connected
Now anytime I love, I’m gonna do it the smartest
Now anytime I’m up, I always make sure I go the hardest