your arms and legs kicked
your little heart was beating
on the ultrasound.
there was a lump in my throat.
i wanted to stay,
to lie in that cold, dark room
and watch you moving.
your dad has been excited
from the beginning
and i have been scared
my entire life
that i will mess this all up
and life will hurt you
the way it keeps hurting me.
but i will be brave
and do hard things to help you
because it's worth it—
and i hope you never know
how heart-wrenchingly,
how agonizingly far
i had to travel
to even begin to hope
that you could be mine
and that i could be your mom.
I hope you never wonder.