It just feels
Like I should be feeling
More, dealing
With moving on.
I look upon
The past six years;
Joys regrets fears
Run through my mind
But I find
That nothing truly stands out
About
My emotions, nothing
Seems to be stabbing
Into my heart like I thought
It was but did not.
Is it wrong
To not feel much
About where I’ve been for so long?
Because deep down I know such
Thoughts will come to light
Soon; bright
And white
They will be
(Yet rendering my head and heart
Ever so dark).
How long will it take for me
To see
The pictures that should be
Running through my head,
But are choosing to hide instead?

I have had enough, I just wanna leave,
This place has no love, they all just deceive,
I thought I would be someone's only choice,
Alone I am left, no one hears my voice,

I thought I would make at least one person smile,
I've struggled in vain, my efforts were dire,
I still do possess, this haunting desire,
Just want to connect, It's all I require,

It seems I have failed to build a connection,
With not much time left, I avoid detection,
So, what if there's no one, not one that would seek,
Seek out this man, when he feels so weak.

I might just do better, the next stage I'll live,
I'll write you a letter,
If I can forgive.

For one last time, the sun sets on the stacks of notes, dreams and piles of unfinished business
And one last time we'll put down what we're asked on a lonely piece of paper
For after that we all change and we stop the old habits forever

As we walk through the memories, faded behind glass
It takes just a moment to go back now, but soon we'll forget
And all we'll know is how it made us feel, the euphoria within

What I'm trying to say is,

Would you stop to thank yourself?
If i took your hand and brought you here.
To see how far you've come and what you've done
Would it blossom in your heart, like it does in mine?

To hope is to forgive, and to let go is to learn
And to be hurt and to be picked up again is to stand up for ourselves
One last time before the Sun sets
Would you take my hand and reminisce in what will become the foggy past?

And we're a bit far apart in minds and hearts
But this one room seems to blend us into one
To remind us of the flesh and bone we all share
And the pain that we bear, all together still
That we'll soon have to take back, heavier than we gave it away

What I'm trying to say is,

Would you stop to smile for a moment
If i took your hand and brought you here
To feel the uncertain envelop us silently
Would you do it, but even if you turn away
If i could tell you one thing: don't let this be crushed to dust,
Don't forget the last of us.

spring in suburbia comes reeling around
with the circuit of movies I watch in my head
sun means 'stand by me'
sun means I feel alive again
spring slips its wings down my throat
and I'm outside and it's not raining
I want to go to parties
And I'm graduating sooner than I thought
I hope the younger years find the crawlspace
above the stage in the hall
I hope they find my graffiti
I hope they feel spring too
and all their favourite movies come circling back
something like new beginnings
yeah something like that

5 weeks left until we walk our separate paths.
5 weeks left, and a bunch of stories I wanted to tell, just to entertain the butterflies in my stomach.
5 weeks left, and still, I have no guts to confess these feelings.
5 weeks left. I wonder, what if I had done this, or done that—would there be any difference between us?
5 weeks left, and I am missing you so much.

Nobody told me how much life would change once I graduated. The immense feelings of nostalgia, I barely managed to dissuade it. My heart, in all its complexities and difficulties, yearns for all kinds of things, scenarios, people - feelings. my heart yearns to feel. love keeps me warm, but lately, I've been awake with alarms, ringing like a maddened storm.

I think of the people I no longer talk to, my mind can come up with a few. Do people get over this? or is this a mist you cannot miss, haunting like a broken wrist, a cruel fate twist, that drives you searching for some kind of bliss?

I am undone. There used to be so much sun, but now it's hard even just to have fun. Is it cowardice to want to run? I imagine buying a gun and aiming it at my head, a joke so blunt.

I lay awake yet again. Dreams used to be so grand. But now it's all so bland.

I don't want to be bland...

Continuous ebbs and flows,
Ongoing transits on the way home,
Nights of burned candles shine,
Gaining new insights all so fine.
Rainy days and espresso on the nose.
Afterglow outlines turned backs.
Trudging through piles of books,
Untangling webs of teachings-
Laughing through triumph,
Answering through ones and twos,
Thundering through the syllabi,
Information would gradually fly!
On nights you sleep distraught,
Nigh morning comes not for naught!
Stand proud in togas and caps!

Pressed flowers make for good bookmarks.
Riddled with nostalgic scents of days gone by.
Intrepid you stand as you close this chapter.
Marching onto the next page of your life,
Onto the edges of this pen shall leave a mark.

It's almost time
Soon, I'll cross the line
And become an adult.
I'll finally be independent.
.
.
.
It should feel freeing.
I feel terrified.
I already have plans.
It shouldn't be so scary.
But,
I can't help to think,
That this is cruel.

I've already spent
Most of my childhood
being "independent".
It should be time to collect my dues
and finally be able to
really
truly
depend on someone else