The winds blew today through my hair,
as I choked on regrets from the old tears.
I silently swore to never see the rain again,
as it kept banging at my doors of life.
To get the giving of my hands,
for I spent a long life giving.
I never could see the rain again,
with its winds and drops of life that
enliven the souls around me, as
I could never love again.

a missed call notification lingers on my phone, taunting me in the small moments, reminding me of opportunities lost. A single minute voicemail replayed a hundred times. Your voice seeping into my marrow growing cold as it lingers. It's all I have left, all of you that remains. A notification, a reminder, a promise that just hours before it all, I was what occupied your mind.

A.C.

i scroll through the contacts on my phone
and realise there is no one i can call
nobody i can text
people ive had for 7 years
maybe more
their care for me has gone void
and i can sense it
can't you see?
it's all superficial  
every conversation
every look
it is all superficial
and i can blame anyone and anything for it
but none of that will change the truth and none of it
will gift me a new outcome

so now i sit alone
in a void room and i wonder
who will notice
who will care
when i am all but gone

for they will notice when i take my last breath
but nobody notices the moments before
not from afar

The sigh of things gone,
echoes of hope and the
small prickles of a blackberry
as I turn it on my tongue
between knives of teeth.
I reach further into the bracken,
The tangle of thorns caressing, hooking themselves into my clothes,  
These are familiar pains,
Small scrapes of memory.
Petrichor, a reminder of our last walk
The clouds, tremendous waves breaking across the sky, coming storm
The plucked magnolia blossom wilting in my hand
How bitter it tasted on our tongues
I saw the berries, then, crimson unripe jewels
Vowed a Persephone return when they had turned onyx
And came back alone while you languished
In your underworld.

I can find sweetness amid the pain,
What have you found
To sustain  yourself ?